New­ly­weds can’t sleep to­gether

Daily Freeman (Kingston, NY) - - YOUR DAILY BREAK - An­nie Lane

My hus­band and I are new­ly­weds. The first year of mar­riage has been amaz­ing, ex­cept for one thing. Our sleep­ing pref­er­ences are dra­mat­i­cally dif­fer­ent. I en­joy a very cold room with a heavy plush com­forter, whereas he would be happy sleep­ing in a warmer room with a lighter-weight blan­ket.

He com­plains con­stantly about our com­forter’s be­ing too hot. When I tell him to throw the blan­ket off, he com­plains it’s too cold in the room. The other night, he said he was so un­com­fort­able that he slept in the guest room with a small blan­ket and the tem­per­a­ture set to 75. In the morn­ing, he crawled into bed and said he’d missed sleep­ing next to me. We love sleep­ing next to each other and cud­dling. It’s just the ac­tual fall­ing and stay­ing asleep part that is a strug­gle. — Sleep­ing Beauty Needs

Her Shut-eye Prince Charm­ing needs his shut-eye, too. But rest easy; it’s com­mon that mar­ried cou­ples have to iron out their sleep­ing dif­fer­ences. There are plenty of op­tions to make this work.

There are blan­kets specif­i­cally de­signed for cou­ples in your sit­u­a­tion, where half the blan­ket is heavy and the other half is light. You can find these for sale on­line, or if you’re at all crafty, you can stitch two dif­fer­ent-weight blan­kets to­gether your­self. If that’s not enough, con­sider buy­ing two twin beds and push­ing them to­gether to make a king-size bed. That way, your bed will have your blan­ket and his will have his.

Sci­ence is on your side with the ther­mo­stat. Dr. Christo­pher Win­ter, med­i­cal di­rec­tor at Char­lottesville Neu­rol­ogy and Sleep Medicine, says the ideal tem­per­a­ture at which to sleep is be­tween 60 and 67 de­grees Fahren­heit, as cooler body tem­per­a­tures al­low for deeper sleep. But see­ing as your hus­band prefers it warmer, per­haps you could com­pro­mise at 70.

Con­grat­u­la­tions on your first year of mar­riage. If this is the big­gest prob­lem in your re­la­tion­ship, you’re do­ing well.

My spouse is the head of a com­pany and re­ceives gourmet food gifts from large cor­po­ra­tions. What is the proper eti­quette re­gard­ing these gifts? The gifts are ad­dressed to my spouse. Are the gifts to be shared with ev­ery­one in the of­fice? Are the gifts to be brought home? I don’t want to be rude. — Unsure

These bas­kets are ad­dressed to your hus­band, so if he’d like to take them home, that would be per­fectly OK. But what would be even bet­ter is if he shared at least some of them with the of­fice. Any good­will this might es­tab­lish be­tween him and his em­ploy­ees would be price­less, and it would cost him noth­ing.

I was dis­ap­pointed when I read your an­swer to “Hear­ing Gib­ber­ish,” the gen­tle­man who com­plained about peo­ple talk­ing too fast for him to un­der­stand. That is a huge red flag that sug­gests he may be ex­pe­ri­enc­ing hear­ing loss. If not di­ag­nosed and treated for hear­ing loss, he might with­draw, quit try­ing to com­mu­ni­cate and fail to re­spond to loved ones. These be­hav­iors have fre­quently been in­ter­preted as de­men­tia. If hear­ing loss is caught soon enough and treated, the so­cial dam­age can be cor­rected, and the world won’t lose this guy. There are tools to help with this, such as closed cap­tion­ing, as­sis­tive lis­ten­ing de­vices, hear­ing aids and cap­tioned tele­phones (CapTel). Your state may pro­vide a cap­tioned phone free or at re­duced cost. For more in­for­ma­tion about hear­ing loss, con­tact the Hear­ing Loss As­so­ci­a­tion of Amer­ica (http://www.hear­ingloss. org). — Hear­ing Again

Send your ques­tions for An­nie Lane to dear­an­nie@cre­ators. com.

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