Watch it, you id­iot!

Daily Freeman (Kingston, NY) - - YOUR DAILY BREAK - An­nie Lane Dear An­nie

My hus­band and I of­ten take car trips to­gether up and down the East Coast to visit fam­ily. When my hus­band gets an­gry at other driv­ers, his tem­per­a­ment changes com­pletely from fun-lov­ing to some­one who is go­ing to “teach peo­ple a les­son.” He gives dirty looks and cusses them out. Other driv­ers of­ten honk at him or yell. He thinks he’s a great driver.

Any­way, to­day I told him he was be­ing a butt to the other driv­ers. He be­came pro­fane and told me what I could do with my opin­ions. I waited a few min­utes be­fore telling him I did not feel I de­served his lan­guage. He said he didn’t care. I know that I called him a butt first, but was I wrong to say that I did not want to be in the car with him any longer? He re­fuses to let me drive.

I have been sug­gest­ing mar­riage coun­sel­ing be­cause he mim­ics me when he is an­gry, but so far, he is too busy. I have avoided be­ing in the car with him as much as pos­si­ble. He says I am be­ing too para­noid and judg­men­tal of his driv­ing. I dis­agree. What do you think?

— Buck­led Up

Not para­noid, just smart. Your hus­band needs to ad­dress his road rage prob­lem be­fore he hurts some­one with his ag­gres­sive driv­ing (or flips off the wrong driver and ends up in a fight).

Ask whether he’d be will­ing to let you record him in the car some­time. Then play it back to him a few days later, when he’s at home and calm. For many peo­ple, it’s enough of a wake-up call just to hear how they sound when they’re in road rage mode.

I would also en­cour­age him to seek anger man­age­ment treat­ment be­fore mar­riage coun­sel­ing, as this seems to be less a prob­lem be­tween you and more a prob­lem be­tween him and him­self.

Iam­inmy late 70s, and I am dis­traught at my friends who drive but are so in­firm that they can barely move their legs or their necks. To see some­thing to the side, they have to twist their up­per body be­cause of stiff­ness in their neck.

But they all drive. There is no way their legs could quickly move up and over to their brake. I will leave to an­other time their abil­ity to hear a horn or see a run­ning child.

My plea is to the mid­dle-aged child. Look at your par­ents! As­sess their flex­i­bil­ity and alert­ness. Be their pas­sen­ger if you dare. Ev­ery one of us is meet­ing them on the streets, and we are ter­ri­fied. You know these good peo­ple don’t want to kill any­one, but is that what you are wait­ing for?

Please take their car away when the need be­comes ob­vi­ous — not be­cause of age but be­cause of in­creas­ing in­fir­mity. It is only go­ing to get worse.

— Scared of My Friends

Thank you for rais­ing this im­por­tant is­sue. It’s un­der­stand­able that af­ter a life­time of driv­ing, peo­ple are re­luc­tant to give up the keys, but af­ter you turn 70, the risk of be­ing in­jured or killed in a mo­tor ve­hi­cle crash in­creases as you age.

Some states have taken leg­isla­tive mea­sures in­tended to pre­vent se­niors who are not fit to drive from get­ting be­hind the wheel, such as dis­al­low­ing the re­newal of driver’s li­censes by mail af­ter a cer­tain age. But many states don’t have such laws. That makes it all the more im­por­tant for adult chil­dren, as you men­tioned, or other loved ones to get in­volved.

The De­part­ment of Mo­tor Ve­hi­cles sug­gests the fol­low­ing tips to se­niors who are still el­i­gi­ble to drive and would like to con­tinue do­ing so safely:

--Ex­er­cis­ing reg­u­larly to in­crease strength and flex­i­bil­ity.

--Ask­ing your doc­tor to re­view medicines to re­duce side ef­fects and in­ter­ac­tions.

--Hav­ing your eyes checked by an eye doc­tor at least once a year.

--Driv­ing dur­ing day­light and in good weather.

Stay safe out there.

Send your ques­tions for An­nie Lane to dear­an­nie@cre­ators.com.

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