Night at the mall

Daily Freeman (Kingston, NY) - - YOUR DAILY BREAK - An­nie Lane Edited by Rich Nor­ris and Joyce Ni­chols Lewis By Alan Olschwang ©2016 Tri­bune Con­tent Agency, LLC

My 13-year-old daugh­ter has been in­vited to her class­mate’s birth­day party. The mom of the birth­day girl plans to drop off the girls at the mall — six of them — for four hours, dur­ing which they’ll wan­der around with money, cell­phones, credit cards and a plan to get food at some point.

I am not com­fort­able with this. I called the mom and asked why she isn’t go­ing with them. Her daugh­ter doesn’t want her there. I sug­gested the two of us go with the girls and per­haps even let them go off on their own for short pe­ri­ods and meet up with them a few times. But no. She wants her daugh­ter to feel “independent” and to give her her “space.”

Be­sides the safety is­sue, I don’t like the idea of just go­ing to the mall to hang out. Not much good comes from that. My daugh­ter al­ways comes home want­ing a bunch of stuff she doesn’t need. When she buys clothes or junk im­pul­sively, it al­ways ends up in the trash or on the char­ity pile a few months later. We’re on a tight bud­get, and this is not in it. I don’t mind get­ting her friend a birth­day gift, but that’s dif­fer­ent.

If it were any­one else, we’d just skip it. But this is her clos­est friend, so it would be dev­as­tat­ing for both of them if she didn’t go. But I re­ally don’t want her to go un­der these cir­cum­stances. — Be­tween a Rock and a

Hard Place in Ohio

Per­son­ally, I think your sug­ges­tion to the mom was a bright idea. That be­ing said, it’s her daugh­ter’s birth­day, and they can do what they want. Like­wise, you can make choices about what’s right for your own fam­ily. If this mall idea is ab­so­lutely un­ac­cept­able to you, you are en­ti­tled to put your foot down and ex­plain that dif­fer­ent fam­i­lies have dif­fer­ent rules.

But if you’d like to make an ex­cep­tion and let your daugh­ter at­tend, lay down some ground rules to help her be safe and re­spon­si­ble. 1) She can only spend her own money — and not too much of it. Set a limit you feel is fair, such as $3050. 2) Cash only. No credit cards. 3) Have her call to check in with you half­way through the night, per­haps while they’re eat­ing din­ner.

There will come a time when she’s al­ways out shop­ping with­out her mom, so this could be the per­fect op­por­tu­nity to get her prac­tic­ing good habits.

I read your col­umn about the bride who in­vited a co-worker to her wed­ding who asked whether she could bring her boyfriend. No wed­ding gift was re­ceived, and the bride asked what to do.

This hap­pened to me, too, when I in­vited a co­worker to my wed­ding, along with her hus­band. We re­ceived gifts and cards from ev­ery­one but her. I al­ways say that a card is more than enough and was sad­dened by this lack of eti­quette.

So I asked a friend of mine whether he could men­tion it to her. She had left the com­pany, and I had no con­tact with her. I didn’t want to ex­clude her when I was send­ing my thankyou notes. I thought that per­haps she had given us a card and we’d mis­placed it. Her an­swer was that she had found the gift un­der her car seat and would mail it to me. I never re­ceived the gift or a card.

I re­al­ized that some peo­ple are just in­con­sid­er­ate. We had a won­der­ful wed­ding, and I re­fused to let any­one ruin even a minute of it. I re­al­ized that she was not re­ally a friend at all, and her to­tal lack of eti­quette was how I choose to view her. — Dis­ap­pointed Bride in

Cal­i­for­nia

ACROSS

1 Did one part of a

typ­i­cal triathlon 5 Over­whelm 10 Cam­era out­put 14 Tus­can

wa­ter­way 15 Smoothes 16 1899 gold rush

town 17 It’s noth­ing to

Noelle 18 Pines, e.g. 19 Wavy lines, in

comics 20 Start of a quip 23 Stuff in a sack 24 Dough short­age

con­se­quence 27 “Chicago P.D.” de­tec­tive Lind­say 29 Quip, part 2 34 Speaks 36 Du­rango day 37 Ro­ta­tion meas. 38 Quip, part 3 42 Pranks, in a way,

in­for­mally 43 Browser’s find 44 Priv­i­leged groups 45 Quip, part 4 49 Wrapped up 50 See 52-Down 51 Swiss wa­ter­way 53 End of the quip 60 Hook for land­ing

large fish 63 Wines named for

an Ibe­rian city 64 Pivot around 65 Plot mea­sure 66 Mex­i­can Academy of Film award 67 McCain’s alma

mater: Abbr. 68 Casino de­vice 69 Spi­der’s web,

e.g. 70 Jury mem­ber

DOWN

1 Asian gar­ment 2 Le­gal pa­per 3 Once more 4 Yosemite’s El

Cap­i­tan, e.g. 5 Scrape 6 Af­fec­tion 7 Europe-bound,

per­haps 8 Ath­letic con­test 9 “Hey, you!” 10 Com­mon noc­tur­nal disturbance 11 Word­less opin­ion 12 Te-__: cigar

brand 13 __ stir­pes: es­tate

law term 21 Good-sized

combo 22 First name in

child­care writ­ing 25 How many learn 26 High hat 27 Rages 28 Brawl in the sticks 30 For­mer “Ac­cess Hol­ly­wood” an­chor Nancy 31 When re­peated, mu­tu­ally ad­van­ta­geous 32 Most liked,

ca­su­ally 33 Ver­sa­til­ity list 34 Eye opener? 35 Close 39 NW Penn. air­port 40 Ecuado­ran gold

re­gion 41 Cheers 46 Tu­ition add-on 47 Abbr. in some Cana­dian place names 48 LDS part 52 With 50-Across,

flier’s op­tion 54 Ther­a­peu­tic

re­sorts

AN­SWER TO PRE­VI­OUS PUZ­ZLE: xworded­i­tor@aol.com 55 Am­biva­lent 56 One of a tenor’s

reper­toire 57 Word sug­gest­ing

op­tions 58 An­cient

char­ac­ter 59 Sen­tence

com­po­nent 60 Yakking 61 Ger­man gripe 62 One way to sway

There will come a time when she’s al­ways out shop­ping with­out her mom, so this could be the per­fect op­por­tu­nity to get her prac­tic­ing good habits.

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