My husband, “Bill,” and I have been married for 30 years. Our marriage had been very good until recently. Bill hired a new secretary, and she is dropdead gorgeous. She’s the same age as our daughter, which means he’s old enough to be her father. This woman is a Christian, so I know she would never start a relationship with him. But he admitted to looking her up on Facebook, and he seemed disappointed that she hadn’t posted any pictures of herself. So we definitely have a problem here.
The problem may have an underlying factor. Bill calls me “Mumma.” He’s done that for 20 years now. I always thought it was endearing, but now I’m rethinking it. I’m his wife, not his mother. It’s possible he’s doing it because he doesn’t think of me as a wife and partner. In fact, he is not one to give compliments. He’ll say he loves me, but he never tells me I look nice. Ever.
I myself am showing wear and tear. I’m 30 pounds overweight. I asked Bill whether the reason for his attraction to her is that I’m fat, and he said yes — that and I’m old. He admitted he’s fat and old too, but still. That didn’t help.
I’m consumed with jealousy. I have never worried about this sort of thing before. I don’t know why this is getting to me. What can I do to get over this? Dear Annie — Old and Fat