At­trac­tive sec­re­tary

Daily Freeman (Kingston, NY) - - LIFE -

My hus­band, “Bill,” and I have been mar­ried for 30 years. Our mar­riage had been very good un­til re­cently. Bill hired a new sec­re­tary, and she is dropdead gor­geous. She’s the same age as our daugh­ter, which means he’s old enough to be her father. This woman is a Chris­tian, so I know she would never start a re­la­tion­ship with him. But he ad­mit­ted to look­ing her up on Face­book, and he seemed dis­ap­pointed that she hadn’t posted any pictures of her­self. So we def­i­nitely have a prob­lem here.

The prob­lem may have an un­der­ly­ing fac­tor. Bill calls me “Mumma.” He’s done that for 20 years now. I al­ways thought it was en­dear­ing, but now I’m re­think­ing it. I’m his wife, not his mother. It’s pos­si­ble he’s do­ing it be­cause he doesn’t think of me as a wife and part­ner. In fact, he is not one to give com­pli­ments. He’ll say he loves me, but he never tells me I look nice. Ever.

I my­self am show­ing wear and tear. I’m 30 pounds over­weight. I asked Bill whether the rea­son for his at­trac­tion to her is that I’m fat, and he said yes — that and I’m old. He ad­mit­ted he’s fat and old too, but still. That didn’t help.

I’m con­sumed with jeal­ousy. I have never wor­ried about this sort of thing be­fore. I don’t know why this is get­ting to me. What can I do to get over this? Dear An­nie — Old and Fat

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