Had a dad

Daily Freeman (Kingston, NY) - - YOUR DAILY BREAK - An­nie Lane

My nephew, “Bill,” mar­ried “He­len.” He­len had a 2-year-old son, “Dy­lan.” He­len told Bill that Dy­lan’s father had given up his parental rights, so Bill legally and hap­pily adopted baby Dy­lan.

We all came to deeply love baby Dy­lan. He was adorable, bright and sweet. Dy­lan quickly felt close to all his many cousins. Four years later, He­len abruptly left Bill for an­other man. When Bill at­tempted to get vis­i­ta­tion with Dy­lan, He­len in­formed the court that Dy­lan’s father had never re­ally given up his parental rights, so there­fore the adop­tion be­came void. Trag­i­cally, none of us in the fam­ily ever saw Dy­lan again.

How could 6-year-old Dy­lan be­gin to un­der­stand this? He loved Bill more than any­one in the world, and then one day he never saw him again! We do not know what his mother told him. How could his mother hurt him like this?

I of­ten won­der whether chil­dren are ever go­ing to have any rights of their own in our courts. So far, the only rights kids have are not to be starved and not to be beaten. Our chil­dren are still law­fully treated as prop­erty of their par­ents. Our courts look out for the par­ents’ rights. When will our laws be­come in fa­vor of what is in the best in­ter­est of the child?

— Still Cry­ing Look fur­ther into the laws in your state. I think there is a good chance your nephew has re­course here to see Dy­lan again, es­pe­cially as he adopted him — or at least was led to be­lieve he did. Some states do have laws that take such fac­tors into con­sid­er­a­tion, with the goal of do­ing what’s best for the child. Don’t give up hope.

I feel that your re­ply to “Se­ri­ally Dis­ap­pointed” was a cop-out. I hear what this young wo­man is say­ing.

I am in my early 60s and have been di­vorced for 15 years. The men I meet are se­ri­ously lack­ing in re­la­tion­ship and ba­sic life skills. I will ad­mit I set­tled for much less than I should have with my most re­cent three part­ners be­cause they had many good qual­i­ties that at­tracted me.

One de­cided af­ter three years that I was “too fat” (I am a size 12), and he met a wo­man who is shorter than I am but not thin­ner. An­other, af­ter two years, told me he had a boyfriend and thought it was OK to date us both at the same time be­cause he is bi­sex­ual. I ended the re­la­tion­ship, and six months later, he was mar­ried to a wo­man.

An­other one sat on my couch one day and be­gan cry­ing, telling me he missed his wife, whom he had di­vorced five years ear­lier. (They even­tu­ally re­mar­ried.)

My friends, all mar­ried or in long-term re­la­tion­ships, said, “Take some time for your­self!” I don’t know what they were think­ing when I’d been spend­ing most birth­days, Christ­mas Eves and New Year’s Eves alone for years.

I haven’t dated for two years. Now the same friends say, “You have to get your­self out there!” I go to movies, plays and other events alone. I bi­cy­cle on busy bike paths, and I work a job. But the truth is that no one has the an­swer as to why most sin­gle men are so out of whack. So they tell you silly things — for ex­am­ple, “Learn how to be happy with your­self.” “Se­ri­ally Dis­ap­pointed” gave no in­di­ca­tion she is not happy with her­self, and I am in­deed happy with who I am. I just wish I could find a qual­ity sin­gle guy in his 60s be­fore he is snatched up by one of the mil­lions of in­tel­li­gent, com­pas­sion­ate, kind sin­gle women out there look­ing. — Will Any­one Love Me

When I’m 64?

Send your ques­tions for An­nie Lane to dear­an­nie@cre­ators. com.

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