Widow ready to date again hes­i­tates to take first step

Daily Local News (West Chester, PA) - - YOUR DAILY BREAK -

DEAR ABBY >> My hus­band of 26 years passed away un­ex­pect­edly at age 46. This was 2 1/2 years ago. I have not yet started dat­ing; how­ever, I fi­nally feel like I’d like to.

I have an old friend from high school whom I have never dated, but I would like to ex­plore the pos­si­bil­ity. He lives in an­other town and we oc­ca­sion­ally mes­sage on Face­book.

I need to pick up some pa­pers from a for­mer doc­tor of mine in that town, and I would like to see my friend. Should I ask him to meet me for cof­fee? Is that what “bud­dies” do? Or should I ask him to meet me for a beer? Would that let him know I want to sort of have a date? What do I say? — Shy starter

DEAR SHY >> Ap­proach it this way: Call or mes­sage him that you plan to be in town to col­lect some doc­u­ments, and ask if he’d “like to get to­gether and catch up.” That can hardly be con­sid­ered ag­gres­sive. If he’s in­ter­ested, he can then ask you if you’d like to meet for cof­fee or a beer — or even go all out and share a meal to­gether.

DEAR ABBY >> I re­cently went gro­cery shop­ping with my friend “April.” She de­cided she wanted some ice cream, so she grabbed a box of ice cream bars. She then pro­ceeded to open the box right there in the aisle and eat one of them while we con­tin­ued to shop.

When we got to the check­out, she paid for the ice cream. I didn’t say any­thing at the time be­cause I didn’t want to start an ar­gu­ment, but I feel that what she did was not OK. What are your thoughts on this? — Un­sure in the West

DEAR UN­SURE >> As long as your friend paid for the ice cream, I see noth­ing wrong with what she did. What I WOULD find up­set­ting is if she had eaten some­thing, dis­carded the wrap­per and “for­got” to in­form the checker, be­cause that would be theft.

DEAR ABBY >> My hus­band and I are go­ing on a seven-night cruise. There will be a for­mal and a semi-for­mal night on the ship. I re­ally want to go, but my hus­band says it’s his va­ca­tion, too, and he doesn’t want to dress up.

Would it be OK for me to go with­out him? If not, what can he wear that is not a suit and tie but will be ac­cept­able? Just so you know, he said if he has to go, it will be in a tux Tshirt and his Dis­ney top hat. — Get­ting away in Ohio

DEAR GET­TING AWAY >> You and your hus­band are not joined at the hip. If he prefers not to at­tend cer­tain events dur­ing the cruise, that should be his priv­i­lege. How­ever, it’s your va­ca­tion, too, and you should have the op­tion to ob­serve the dress code and en­joy those evenings if you wish. If a coat and tie are re­quired on the cruise you chose, you both might be hap­pier if you se­lect a more ca­sual ship next time be­cause some are less for­mal than oth­ers. Dear Abby is writ­ten by Abigail Van Buren, also known as Jeanne Phillips, and was founded by her mother, Pauline Phillips. Con­tact Dear Abby at www. DearAbby.com or P.O. Box 69440, Los An­ge­les, CA 90069. To re­ceive a col­lec­tion of Abby’s most mem­o­rable — and most fre­quently re­quested — po­ems and es­says, send your name and mail­ing ad­dress, plus check or money or­der for $7 (U.S. funds) to: Dear Abby — Keep­ers Book­let, P.O. Box 447, Mount Mor­ris, IL 61054-0447. Ship­ping and han­dling are in­cluded in the price.

Dear Abby

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