Scriptures help when people are judgmental about your marital status
I recently got a divorce and I feel like such a failure. I know I had just cause, I’m not questioning that, I just feel like I have a black mark against my name. I was booted out of our marriage ministry at church and I sense that people in my cell group and some of my married friends are judging me. How can I overcome this feeling? Signed, Divorced and Down
DEAR DIVORCED AND
First, God loves you. This is not a fact that should just remain in your head, but it is a truth that must move from your head to your heart. Study, ponder, and meditate on the woman at the well, in John 4:7-29. This woman was truthful, wise, and discerning. And based on the text, she made many correct choices; however, she had issues in personal life. Although many people, even today, choose to focus on her personal weaknesses, Jesus, in his compassion and mercy chose to focus on her strengths. He was not moved by her 5 past marriages, but rather he saw all that she would become in the future. When she believed in her heart that Jesus accepted her, wanted the very best for her, and truly loved her despite her past, it changed her whole life. So it is important that you stand, walk, and move, knowing and believing that even after the ink has dried on your divorce papers, God still deeply loves and desires the very best for you. Second, you have to love yourself. The greatest commandment is to love God with all of your heart, soul and mind, and the second is to love your neighbor as yourself. Contrary to popular belief, you are not damaged goods! Although the world may label you as such, and though you may be tempted to feel this way about yourself, it is simply not the truth. In the world, the ugliness of divorce carries with it shame, stain, and stigma. But remember, although you are in the world, you are not of the world. You are in Christ Jesus, and therefore no one (not even you) has the right to condemn you, for what God has already forgiven you of, including a failed marriage. If you are having difficulty forgiving yourself for the past, try taping this scripture to your bedroom mirror, and read it daily until it sinks deep into your spirit. “There is therefore now no condemnation to them which are in Christ Jesus who walk not after the flesh, but after the Spirit.” (Romans 8:1). Last but not least, remember this scripture when people are judgmental about your marital status, “You, therefore have no excuse, you who pass judgment on someone else, for at whatever point you judge another, you are condemning yourself, because you who pass judgment do the same things.” (Romans 2:1). The fact is this, those who judge you have already committed similar, if not worse offenses. And those who look down on others, often do so because they don’t feel so good about themselves. I pray that you are encouraged.