Teen treated like dirt should dust herself off and move on
DEAR ABBY >> It has been two years, and I haven’t been able to get over my first love. I just graduated from high school and I’ll soon be 18, but I still can’t get used to the idea that he’s gone. When we broke up, he made me feel like dirt.
We had been a couple since my freshman year, and he dumped me at the beginning of my junior year because I didn’t want to give him my virginity. Later I discovered he had been cheating on me with my best friend. Please help. — Can’t move on
DEAR CAN’T MOVE ON >> Why did you allow him to make you feel like “dirt”? Be GLAD you didn’t have sex with him. If you HAD, he would probably have cheated on you anyway.
You have your whole life ahead of you. Please don’t waste one more second of it looking over your shoulder and pining for someone who would punish you for hanging onto your values. You did the right thing, and you should have no regrets.
DEAR ABBY >> I have a 7-yearold son who seems to be growing up faster than I would like at times. With today’s music, video games, TV and movies, there are some things regarding sex I can’t prevent him from seeing or learning if I haven’t screened the contents.
I realize my son knows more than I would like for a child his age to know. Because of this, my husband thinks it’s time to have the “birds and the bees” talk. I’m not ready to have that talk, and I don’t believe my son is at an age to have this talk, either.
My husband is a psych major who never fails to remind me how knowledgeable he thinks he is as he tries to convince me that our son is ready. I know that one day my son will be curious about his body, but is now that time? Am I wrong in thinking he’s too young?
— Not ready in Oklahoma
DEAR NOT READY >> I don’t know your son, how much adult material he has been exposed to or how mature he is for his age. But I believe the “birds and bees” talk should be an ongoing dialogue rather than one speech.
Children should know the correct terms for their body parts, and what “private” means so they can communicate effectively. I don’t think it’s harmful for children to know where puppies, kittens and baby birds come from. In another conversation, they should know what “pregnant” means.
Your son should also know that if he has ANY questions, he can come to you and his father and get straight answers. The question, “How does the baby get there?” will probably come in another year or two. And when it is asked, he should be answered in a straightforward manner.
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