Boyfriend con­sumed by video games re­veals him­self a loser

Daily Local News (West Chester, PA) - - YOUR DAILY BREAK - Dear Abby

DEAR ABBY >> I have been dat­ing “Ian” for seven months. We met at work, and my friends con­vinced me to go out with him. I thought he was a nice guy, just shy. Now that we’ve been dat­ing, I re­al­ize that’s not the case.

Ian plays video games A LOT. They con­sume his life. He gets so ag­gra­vated that he slams but­tons and curses in­ces­santly. My nerves can’t han­dle hear­ing it. I have anx­i­ety is­sues, and when he does it, I nearly have a panic at­tack. When I tell him it’s just a game, he won’t lis­ten.

He is also crit­i­cal of me. It’s mostly about my weight, but he also tells me I’m hor­ri­ble and stupid. He com­plains about the way I play video games, my cooking, etc. Some­times he loses his tem­per and snaps at me. He has slapped me a few times.

He’s never in­ti­mate with me, but I know he’s straight be­cause he watches porn when he thinks I’m asleep. We pretty much lead sep­a­rate lives, but he talks about us get­ting our own place. We no longer work at the same com­pany. I have a part-time job and go to school full time, but he won’t even look for a job.

Part of me wants to end it. But this is my first real re­la­tion­ship, and I’m not sure if I can do any bet­ter. Help!

— Con­flicted in Vir­ginia

DEAR CON­FLICTED >> End it NOW! You are look­ing at this the wrong way. From where I sit, it would be prac­ti­cally im­pos­si­ble for you to have a worse re­la­tion­ship than this one. Ian is im­ma­ture, emo­tion­ally and phys­i­cally abu­sive and un­em­ployed. Men who care about women don’t treat them the way he treats you.

Ian should not move any­where with you. If he does, you will have a heck of a time get­ting this free­loader out. Not only that, you won’t be able to find any­one else be­cause it will ap­pear that you’re al­ready “in­volved.”

DEAR ABBY >> I hear peo­ple all around me talk about their grand­kids and the great times they have. I have grand­kids, too, but I don’t know how to be a grandmother. My mother didn’t have the skill, and I don’t know what to do.

I’m in my early 50s, and I’m try­ing to do things now that I didn’t get to do when I was young. I raised my kids. Am I sup­posed to spend all my time with them? I’m not sure I even want to. Does that make me self­ish?

— Lost grandma in Vir­ginia

DEAR LOST GRANDMA >> You don’t have to spend “all” your time with your grand­chil­dren. You should, how­ever, see them ev­ery few weeks if pos­si­ble so you can get to know each other.

Be­cause you’re not sure how to do that, ask their par­ents and some of your friends for sug­ges­tions on how to en­ter­tain them. It could be as sim­ple as tak­ing them to a movie, at­tend­ing some of their school or sport­ing events, bak­ing cook­ies to­gether or tak­ing them to a park dur­ing an af­ter­noon.

Dear Abby is writ­ten by Abi­gail Van Buren, also known as Jeanne Phillips, and was founded by her mother, Pauline Phillips. Con­tact Dear Abby at www. DearAbby.com or P.O. Box 69440, Los An­ge­les, CA 90069.

To or­der “How to Write Let­ters for All Oc­ca­sions,” send your name and mail­ing ad­dress, plus check or money or­der for $7 (U.S. funds) to: Dear Abby — Let­ter Book­let, P.O. Box 447, Mount Mor­ris, IL 61054-0447. Ship­ping and han­dling are in­cluded in the price.

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