Soon-to-be-blended fam­ily is di­vided over im­mu­niza­tions

Daily Local News (West Chester, PA) - - YOUR DAILY BREAK - Dear Abby


I’m en­gaged to a won­der­ful man I have been with for five years. We plan to get mar­ried as soon as his house sells and we can move into an­other home as a fam­ily. He has three chil­dren; I have four. Our kids get along well enough, and no se­ri­ous par­ent­ing is­sues have come up yet.

My con­cern is, he and his exwife haven’t im­mu­nized their kids. I have. All four of my chil­dren are up to date with their shots. We have agreed to dis­agree on this sub­ject.

With the kids liv­ing to­gether un­der the same roof, is there any­thing I should worry about as far as kids get­ting sick? I have read some­where that it isn’t good to have kids who are im­mu­nized around those who aren’t. Truth? — Wants the facts in In­di­ana


Have you dis­cussed this with their doc­tors? If you go on­line and visit vac­, you will find a com­plete ex­pla­na­tion of why vac­ci­na­tions are so im­por­tant and why par­ents should en­sure that their chil­dren re­ceive the op­ti­mum dose, which may in­volve two or more shots.

Ac­cord­ing to the Food and Drug Ad­min­is­tra­tion: “For rea­sons re­lated to the in­di­vid­ual, not all vac­ci­nated per­sons de­velop im­mu­nity. Most rou­tine child­hood vac­cines are ef­fec­tive for 85 to 95 per­cent of re­cip­i­ents.” If your chil­dren hap­pen to fall into the un­for­tu­nate 5 to 15 per­cent cat­e­gory of re­cip­i­ents who haven’t de­vel­oped full im­mu­nity, then you should be con­cerned.


My mother-in-law is a won­der­ful lady, but I’m hav­ing a hard time with how she is around my chil­dren. She is ex­tremely ob­ses­sive over giv­ing them baths, chang­ing their di­a­pers and, ba­si­cally, just see­ing them naked.

I have talked with my hus­band about it be­cause I don’t think it’s ap­pro­pri­ate. I want to dis­cuss this with her, but he thinks it’s no big deal be­cause this is “just the way she is.” How can I con­vey the se­ri­ous­ness of this is­sue? Or am I over­re­act­ing? — Just the way she is


I don’t know your mother-in-law, so I can’t judge her mo­ti­va­tions. She was a mother be­fore she be­came a grand­mother, and it may be per­fectly innocent. How­ever, if some­thing is go­ing on that makes you un­easy, you must re­mem­ber that, as your chil­dren’s mother, you have a re­spon­si­bil­ity to put a stop to any­thing you do not feel is ap­pro­pri­ate.


My hus­band has a brother, “Tom,” who is 10 years younger. He re­cently re­turned from col­lege and is liv­ing with my in-laws. Tom has vis­ited us a few times since his ar­rival. When he comes over, he doesn’t bother to ring the door­bell or knock; he sim­ply lets him­self in.

I don’t ap­pre­ci­ate the lack of pri­vacy in my own home. Peo­ple should at least knock or yell hello from the door­way be­fore barg­ing in. When I told my hus­band it both­ered me, he got up­set and de­fen­sive and ac­cused me of “pick­ing on” his fam­ily. Am I mak­ing too much of this? — Ding dong in Texas


No, you’re not. You didn’t men­tion how long you and your hus­band have been mar­ried, but your home is not a bach­e­lor pad that peo­ple drift in and out of. You are en­ti­tled to some pri­vacy, and time to cover up if you are in a state of un­dress. That peo­ple ring the bell, knock on the door or yell to an­nounce their pres­ence is not too much to ask. In fact, it’s con­sid­ered good man­ners.

P.S. Keep­ing the door locked could help solve the prob­lem.

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