BECOME WHO YOU WERE BORN TO BE FAMILY MATTERS
There is a quote that says, “The way we talk to our children becomes their inner voice.” I am a firm believer that if I gave birth to a baby, then it was my responsibility to make sure I gave that baby the absolute best that I could. My husband and I decided that we wanted to wait to have children. We wanted to be ready for such a responsibility. Upon the entrance of our first daughter, Brea, we knew that we would speak life into the existence of our children. Everything we said to them, around them, and near them had to be productive for their lives. From within my womb we would tell the unborn child how great he or she would be. After birth, we uttered words of affirmation to them daily. Even as they grew up, speaking words of life and success never ceased. Our words became the words within their hearts and minds. Calling them derogatory names was not permitted. That doesn’t mean we didn’t discipline our children, but we didn’t call them out of their names.
The words that we spoke became normal to hear. It’s like repeating to a child, “We’re going to grandma’s house.” When the day arrives to go to grandma’s house the child is prepared mentally, physically and emotionally to go to grandma’s house. What are you preparing your children for? We told our children they would go to college, they would be successful, and anything they wanted, they could have if they worked hard for it. We told them they were born to be great, they are winners and that they were natural born leaders. We said these words privately and publicly. We did not want them to think their success was a secret. We also did not want them to hide from becoming who they were born to be. Echoing the words “you are smart” gives them the confidence to be smart. It starts at birth. Babies come out with a clean slate. We are the authors of their lives. What we speak becomes the inner voice inside of them that pushes them towards their successful future.
Iylana Vanzant said, “Parents are teachers, guides, leaders, protectors and providers for their children.” We have always tried to prepare our children for where they were going. In elementary school, we prepared them for the next school to which they would advance. A higher level of elevation becomes intimidating when you’re not prepared for it. When they were in high school we prepared them for college. It was our responsibility to not only, tell them who they were, but to also prepare them for who they were to become. Many lessons were taught and there were times when we were not sure if they received the lesson, understood the lesson or got the lesson, but we kept teaching. Life has a way of showing and revealing what is known or unknown. We never stopped teaching and guiding them. They are now at ages where what we have taught is within them and we have to let them live it. While we, as parents, are trying to fit and succeed in society, we must stay focused on the fact that we birthed our children and now must give them the best we can because family matters. It was important that I put my priorities in the right order. I told my children that I wanted them to succeed me, go higher and further than I did; that took investing into my kids. I helped them reach their goals and supported them financially. The meaning of “Family Matters” is, it is important that we make the next generation better than the previous. We’re not competing with them, but we are completing them. The difference in those two words is one letter; the letter “L,” which stands for love. We must love them to their dreams, goals and financial security; and then when they leave, they are ready mentally, physically, spiritually and emotionally. All we can do, is do our best to give them our best. DT