Hands-on ap­proach to women both­ers wife

El Dorado News-Times - - Morning Brew -

DEAR ABBY: My hus­band can­not be around a fe­male with­out putting his hands on her shoul­der or back. He “has” to touch. I’m not jeal­ous, but em­bar­rassed when

I see women cringe and the ex­pres­sion on their faces some­times.

I keep hop­ing one of them will con­front him about it. It’s get­ting worse the older he gets, es­pe­cially with younger women.

Do not sug­gest talk­ing to him. He is never wrong and be­comes livid when con­fronted.

He reads your col­umn, so please, Abby, give me some ad­vice.

TIRED OF BE­ING

EM­BAR­RASSED

DEAR TIRED: I as­sume your hus­band does this only with un­ac­com­pa­nied young fe­males, be­cause if he did it with women who had an es­cort, their date or their hus­band would straighten him out. Be­cause you can see the women are un­com­fort­able, talk pri­vately with them and sug­gest they speak up and tell him not to do it again.

DEAR ABBY: My di­vorced son re­mar­ried a short time ago. His new wife seems to have no bound­aries and no fil­ters. If any­thing comes up that dis­pleases her, she be­comes ver­bally ag­gres­sive and in your face. (She has been fired nu­mer­ous times be­cause of it.) I have been on the re­ceiv­ing end sev­eral times, pub­licly. My son looks the other way, and if pressed, he sup­ports her.

How can I main­tain a re­la­tion­ship with my son, whom I love, and not ex­pose my­self to this woman’s abuse? (He no longer re­ceives in­vi­ta­tions to the fam­ily din­ners his sis­ter hosts, and my son’s adult chil­dren ac­tively avoid her.)

BAT­TERED MOTHER-IN-LAW DEAR BAT­TERED: You do not have to tol­er­ate be­ing ver­bally abused. Be­cause your son’s wife “has no fil­ters,” try to see him sep­a­rately -- per­haps for lunch dates -- if pos­si­ble. If he is so much un­der her con­trol that he re­fuses, you may have to ac­cept that she has man­aged to isolate him from fam­ily.

Tell him you love him, and your heart and your home are al­ways open to him. Then point out that you are not the only fam­ily mem­ber who feels this way, but for the sake of your men­tal health, you can no longer tol­er­ate her abuse.

DEAR ABBY: Dur­ing a re­cent cross-coun­try tour of Italy, I was asked my age by five dif­fer­ent peo­ple in the group. My be­ing po­lite -- and eva­sive -- didn’t de­ter them. Please in­form your read­ers that some peo­ple find it of­fen­sive to be asked that ques­tion.

AGE­LESS IN ARKANSAS

DEAR AGE­LESS: I agree that not ev­ery­one wants to dis­cuss their age. Per­haps the ques­tion­ers didn’t re­al­ize they were be­ing rude. How­ever, if you in­di­cated that you didn’t want to an­swer and your fel­low trav­el­ers per­sisted, you would have had ev­ery right to end the con­ver­sa­tion by say­ing, “I don’t dis­cuss my age. Pe­riod!”

Dear Abby is writ­ten by Abi­gail Van Buren, also known as Jeanne Phillips, and was founded by her mother, Pauline Phillips. Con­tact Dear Abby at www. DearAbby.com or P.O. Box 69440, Los An­ge­les, CA 90069.

For ev­ery­thing you need to know about wed­ding plan­ning, or­der “How to Have a Lovely Wed­ding.” Send your name and mail­ing ad­dress, plus check or money or­der for $7 (U.S. funds) to: Dear Abby, Wed­ding Book­let, P.O. Box 447, Mount Morris, IL 61054-0447. (Ship­ping and han­dling are in­cluded in the price.)

Abi­gail Van Buren

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