How to Spot a Gen­uine Junker

Flea Market Décor - - Talking Talking - BY ANNI LICHTY

1. A gen­uine junker can be seen on the side of the road, fum­bling with an old­school pa­per map to find her way. Good junk lies where good cell phone sig­nals do not go.

2. If gen­uine junkers are seen out­side their ve­hi­cles on the side of the road, they are either tight­en­ing up their load with straps, ropes, bungee cords, den­tal floss, or re­triev­ing a trea­sure that has fallen off some other poor junker’s load. In junk­ing, pos­ses­sion is 10/10ths of the law.

3. A gen­uine junker’s ve­hi­cle will be loaded to max­i­mum ca­pac­ity and will have at least one low tire at all times. Nei­ther nails, nor screws, nor bro­ken glass nor shards of metal keep these prospec­tors from swiftly ex­plor­ing their ap­pointed junk pile.

4. A gen­uine junker’s work at­tire is de­lib­er­ately lack­lus­ter: grungy jeans, old T-shirt, sturdy work boots, gloves and the in­fa­mous sweat rag. In gen­eral, a gen­uine junker’s ap­pear­ance may be less than glam­orous, but JUNK DON’T JUDGE!

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