How to Spot a Genuine Junker
1. A genuine junker can be seen on the side of the road, fumbling with an oldschool paper map to find her way. Good junk lies where good cell phone signals do not go.
2. If genuine junkers are seen outside their vehicles on the side of the road, they are either tightening up their load with straps, ropes, bungee cords, dental floss, or retrieving a treasure that has fallen off some other poor junker’s load. In junking, possession is 10/10ths of the law.
3. A genuine junker’s vehicle will be loaded to maximum capacity and will have at least one low tire at all times. Neither nails, nor screws, nor broken glass nor shards of metal keep these prospectors from swiftly exploring their appointed junk pile.
4. A genuine junker’s work attire is deliberately lackluster: grungy jeans, old T-shirt, sturdy work boots, gloves and the infamous sweat rag. In general, a genuine junker’s appearance may be less than glamorous, but JUNK DON’T JUDGE!