The Michael Douglas Injury
Michael Douglas, Russian oligarchs and a whole lot of chickens (human and otherwise) come home to roost in this week’s quiz. 1. Circassian is a language with: A) 26 words for “chicken.” B) 57 consonants. C) No way of expressing, “I dialed the wrong number, but I’m not sure what number I dialed.” 2. Mehdi Nemmouche, the Frenchman suspected of killing four people at the Jewish museum in Brussels, does not want to be sent where? A) Jail. B) Israel. C) Hell. 3. Israeli Liat Ben Rafael, 28, curates:
A) The pickle selection at KosherFest.
B) The Impressionist masters collection at the Louvre.
C) The Google doodle of the day. 4. 40% of Americans believe that:
A) Going outside with wet hair gives you the flu. B) The Bible is the literal record of words spoken by God.
C) Redheads are crazy. 5. Jewish Russian oligarchs have recorded a three-hour-long: A) Seder. B) Argument about whether it’s “cool” or “dorky” be to be oligarch.
C) Cover of Leonard Cohen’s “Hallelujah.” 6. A kiosk selling Dead Sea cosmetics was evicted from a mall in Auckland, New Zealand for allegedly:
A) Passing off jars of Fluffernut as face firmer.
B) Coercing an elderly woman into buying $5,000 in wrinkle creams.
C) Calling a client, “Mrs. Vulture Beak.” 7. Michael Douglas is reportedly suffering from: A) A hora-related injury. B) Selfie-induced hypnotism. C) Dimple depletion.