Cos­tume cor­rect­ness

Con­fes­sions of an elit­ist Hal­loween snob

GA Voice - - A+E -

I’m an elit­ist Hal­loween snob. I freely ad­mit that I have a few hard and fast rules that I im­pose in a Pen­te­costal way.

For ex­am­ple, I op­pose sexy Hal­loween cos­tumes if they only ex­ist for the sake of be­ing sexy. An ef­fort to sim­ply show skin at Hal­loween is a sac­ri­lege to what I be­lieve is the beauty of Hal­loween: cre­ativ­ity and hu­mor. The true judge of your cos­tume is the re­ac­tion that oth­ers have and I have never been im­pressed by a cos­tume just be­cause it was sexy.

I take this time of year as an out­let to set aside all lev­els of po­lit­i­cal cor­rect­ness. Nor­mally, I am sen­si­tive to the tragedies ex­pe­ri­enced by oth­ers, but on Hal­loween, all bets are off and I will ea­gerly use th­ese tragedies to shock and amuse oth­ers.

For in­stance, af­ter Kurt Cobain’s death I went as the singer af­ter he killed him­self. When Fire­stone got in trou­ble for ac­ci­dents caused by their blown tires, I dressed up as a Fire­stone ac­ci­dent vic­tim.

Peo­ple were afraid to swim on the Florida coast one sum­mer af­ter a se­ries of shark at­tacks, so I went as some­one who had been at­tacked with an in­flat­able shark in tow. When Roy from Siegfried & Roy got bit­ten by his white tiger, Mon­tecore, I went as the an­i­mal fresh from the at­tack.

If Hal­loween hap­pens to come dur­ing a time when you have some­thing unique go­ing on in your own life, I fully ex­pect that con­di­tion to be em­braced and ex­ploited. When I was still on dial­y­sis and very un­der­weight, I used that op­por­tu­nity to go into the chil­dren’s de­part­ment and dress as one of the girls who had been beaten by her min­is­ter at the House of Prayer in At­lanta. Yes, to an­swer your ques­tion, at Hal­loween noth­ing is sa­cred, in­clud­ing abused chil­dren.

Hal­loween is also the per­fect time of year to cash in on bets. Once, I was on the re­ceiv­ing end and af­ter los­ing a bet to Bert Weiss, I was forced to dress as a UGA cheer­leader at our show’s Hal­loween party. I added horns and a pitch­fork to the out­fit, so when any­one asked why I was dressed this way, I would hon­estly re­ply that I was in Hell for hav­ing to wear that out­fit.

Af­ter I broke my an­kle, I used my cast in my de­pic­tion of Kim Zol­ciak from “Real House­wives of At­lanta,” fresh from a NeNe Leakes beat down.

Don’t be afraid to take risks. Black face is not usu­ally in my ar­se­nal of cos­tumes but dur­ing the 2008 pres­i­den­tial cam­paign, Katie and I de­cided to go as po­ten­tial first ladies Cindy McCain and Michelle Obama. In or­der to au­then­ti­cally pull it off, Katie had to turn her skin a darker shade to look like Michelle.

Walking into the party we both knew it could turn out badly for us, and planned a quick es­cape route if we were not well re­ceived. In­stead, the African-Amer­i­can women were the ones who laughed loud­est and asked for pho­tos first.

Just last week, Katie and I paid homage to the jailed mem­bers of the Rus­sian punk band Pussy Riot when we at­tended a friend’s party. We in­cluded the band’s logo on our shirt, along with shack­les and a ball and chain. It was im­me­di­ately ev­i­dent who was aware of that news story when we ar­rived. De­spite those who had not read the news story and had no clue what we were, the belly laughs from those who got it were well worth the trou­ble.

This year, I am tak­ing my Hal­loween ob­ses­sion to a new level. I will host my first very own Hal­loween Party on Hal­loween Night at the Goat Farm. My party, “Har­vest,” will ben­e­fit the Melissa Carter Trans­plant Fund. Get it? (They har­vest or­gans for do­na­tion...I told you noth­ing was sa­cred).

Each year we will have a dif­fer­ent theme and Steam­punk will be the theme for our in­au­gu­ral party. For those who aren’t fa­mil­iar with Steam­punk, Google it. For those who are, im­press me. Happy Hal­loween!

Newspapers in English

Newspapers from USA

© PressReader. All rights reserved.