GA Voice - - The Wedding Issue -

Do like some of the bar­tenders around town do. Have two dif­fer­ent con­tain­ers, one that con­tains tea and the other con­tains liquor. Serve your fam­ily out of the tea con­tainer and serve your drunken friends out of the liquor con­tainer. Mark the tea con­tainer with a BandAid so you won’t mis­tak­enly serve your fam­ily liquor. And if they ac­ci­dently get the liquor, maybe they will have more fun any­way.

We’re work­ing on the in­vites but I have sev­eral rel­a­tives who have been less than sup­port­ive of me be­ing gay. I still love them though and want them to be a part of it, and maybe their views will change af­ter see­ing us ex­change vows? Should I in­vite them?

Do you want to put a blem­ish on your wed­ding by invit­ing neg­a­tive rel­a­tives? Re­mem­ber these fa­mous words: “Con­vince a fool against his will. He’s of the same opinion still.” They will be aghast to see their nephew com­ing down the aisle in a wed­ding gown any­way and have a stroke. There’s noth­ing worse than hav­ing an am­bu­lance show­ing up at a wed­ding to haul

Put it out when they come over—out­side the front door. Tell them that you were hav­ing the house cleaned and it was left out­side. That’s what hap­pens when you hire an in­com­pe­tent maid. Maybe she was hop­ing to come back later on and steal it. Af­ter all, it did look like some­thing she would like (re-gift­ing is in).

I’ve been asked to be in the wed­ding party for a friend of mine, but there’s one prob­lem—I slept with his fi­ancé. It hap­pened be­fore they got to­gether, but I still feel a lit­tle un­com­fort­able about it. Should I ac­cept his of­fer to be in the wed­ding party or de­cline?

Well, you’ve been a two-face be­fore. Why not be a two-face cur­rently. Be­sides, if some­one didn’t at­tend a wed­ding be­cause they slept with your pro­posed spouse to be, then no­body would be at the wed­ding any­way. Honey, the days of virgin brides is “gone with the wind.” The wed­ding will start off prim and proper but by the end of the re­cep­tion, ev­ery­body’s gonna be all liquored up and groping and grind­ing on each other any­way. Wake up to hu­man na­ture. Go and have a blast (but don’t use fire­crack­ers).

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