Friend turned en­emy con­tin­ues her at­tacks

Hawaii Tribune Herald - - MIXED PLATE -

DEAR ABBY: I need your help deal­ing with an old “fren­emy.” “Jenny” and I were friends in high school, but she con­stantly ber­ated me and ac­cused me of tak­ing ad­van­tage of her. She would make her­self feel bet­ter by putting me down.

Af­ter she went away to col­lege, she got preg­nant by a non-boyfriend. When she had an abor­tion, she swore me to se­crecy be­cause she didn’t tell the fa­ther. Shortly there­after, he came to me and tricked me into telling him. To this day, Jenny still blames me and says I was out to get her and ruin her life.

Jenny spread ru­mors about me around our group of friends, on the in­ter­net, and told my mom hor­ri­ble lies about me. She even threat­ened a law­suit. Ten years later, she still pops up out of the blue to at­tack me. A year ago, she sent me a mes­sage say­ing she wished I had died in a tor­nado that struck my area. She sends taunts about an old boyfriend of mine who got mar­ried and had a kid.

I never re­spond be­cause that’s what she wants. She pops up at the worst times and makes me feel worse. How should I deal with her?


DEAR BOIL­ING: Con­tinue to ig­nore this trou­bled wo­man. Block her any­where you can and delete any mes­sages that leak through so you won’t have to see them. If you have mu­tual friends who don’t know the whole story, you should have en­light­ened them years ago — and the same goes for your mother.

Jenny ap­pears to have se­ri­ous is­sues. She isn’t a “fren­emy.” She is strictly bad news, so rec­og­nize it and move on.

DEAR ABBY: While pre­par­ing a let­ter at work, I no­ticed it was go­ing to be mailed to a mar­ried les­bian cou­ple.

Typ­i­cally, the cor­rect way to ad­dress an en­ve­lope to a wo­man would be to Ms., Miss or Mrs. and to a male it’s ei­ther Mr. or Mas­ter, de­pend­ing upon his age.

What’s the proper way to ad­dress a gay cou­ple? Is M/M still used in place of Mr. and Mr. and Mrs. and Mrs.? — PROPER IN ILLI­NOIS

DEAR PROPER: Ac­cord­ing to Steven Petrow’s “Com­plete Gay and Les­bian Man­ners,” the cor­rect way to ad­dress the en­velopes of mar­ried gay and les­bian cou­ples should be (in al­pha­bet­i­cal or­der):

Mr. Bradley Burch and Mr. Mark Foster

Ms. Ce­celia Carter and Ms. Diane Grant

Or, if the cou­ple shares the same last name:

Mr. Bradley and Mr. Mark Burch Ms. Ce­celia and Ms. Diane Carter.

DEAR ABBY: Now that I’m older, I of­ten find it hard to re­mem­ber all the names and amounts of my pre­scrip­tions when I visit my var­i­ous doc­tors. To help my­self, I now carry in my wal­let a small copy of a spread­sheet list­ing all my med­i­ca­tion in­for­ma­tion. That way, I can give ac­cu­rate de­tails to the physi­cian.

I’d like to pass my so­lu­tion on to other read­ers who might have the same need to be pre­cise and up-to-date when vis­it­ing the doc­tor.


DEAR IN GOOD HEALTH: That’s a sug­ges­tion worth shar­ing. And while you are at it, you should also list for your doc­tor any vi­ta­mins, sup­ple­ments and over-the-counter meds you take on a reg­u­lar ba­sis. This in­for­ma­tion can also be stored in your smart­phone, if you have one.

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