Pen­guin

Hello Mr. Magazine - - CHALLENGE TRADITION -

Nause­ata pa­pua monogama Ev­ery­one adores Pen­guins – they’re the most love­able and crowd-pleas­ing of all the gays. Whole­somely pre­sentable and ut­terly cute, Pen­guins are never seen alone and only ex­ist as pairs. Fun fact! Pen­guins are never seen out­side of their for­mal black and white at­tire, ei­ther, be­cause as soon as same-sex mar­riage is le­gal­ized, they’ll be first in line at Town Hall. While most people find Pen­guins adorable, oth­ers find their smug pub­lic dis­plays of monogamy nau­se­at­ing. Crit­ics will re­mark that while it’s nice that pen­guins have de­cided to mate for life, do they re­ally have to tell you all about it?

Su­per pow­ers:

Power hugs, spoon­ing, de­vel­op­ing new nick­names on a daily ba­sis.

IKEA. Self­ies, dual self­ies, com­ment­ing on each other’s self­ies, feed­ing one an­other food, tak­ing self­ies of each other feed­ing one an­other food.

Pen­guins can only eat in pairs at restaurants or din­ner par­ties, other­wise they will die.

Nat­u­ral habi­tats: Habits:

Diet:

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