Ele­phant

Hello Mr. Magazine - - CHALLENGE TRADITION -

Pachy­der­mus dis­gtin­guishus Ele­phants are the revered states­men of the gay world, and their mem­o­ries run long and deep. They’re the ones who’ve seen the gay ecosys­tem change and flour­ish over the years and have doc­u­mented it all in their books/plays/pho­tog­ra­phy/con­tem­po­rary in­ter­pre­tive dance works. Ele­phants re­mem­ber the Dark Times of AIDS and crim­i­nal­iza­tion and wear the vis­i­ble bat­tle scars of that era. Some of the younger (and stu­pider) an­i­mals shun Ele­phants or ig­nore them al­to­gether, but the smartest ones flock to them, know­ing they of­fer knowl­edge, pro­tec­tion, and wis­dom. Plus, they put on re­ally great par­ties with ex­cel­lent canapés.

Nat­u­ral habi­tats:

Pub­lic de­bates, wrtiers’ fes­ti­vals, at home in bed read­ing The New Yorker un­der high-thread-count Egyp­tian cot­ton sheets.

By all means, en­gage in philo­soph­i­cal de­bates with Ele­phants about the im­por­tance of same-sex mar­riage and how tough it is to be young and queer right now, but do pre­pare to be de­mol­ished.

Co­gnac, Grange.

Warn­ings:

Diet:

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