Cygnus perfectica Immaculately groomed, Swans are the gays that exist almost purely to be seen. Beautifully dressed to the point of obscenity, some Swans will have their photographs featured on The Sartorialist, broadsheet social pages and Vice’s “Do” list in a single day, wearing three separate outfits and across three separate events. Never caught out without a pocket-square, sockless loafers and spectacles (despite having 20-20 vision), Swans often singlehandedly build their own online media empires that span Instagram, fashion blogs, and vodcasts. Some Swans model for glossy fashion magazines in their spare time, but modestly insist it is “only a hobby.”
Motto: Natural habitats: Diet:
“There is no such thing as ‘over-dressed’.”
Paris, New York, Milan. The three Cs: canapés, champagne, cocaine.
Has never actually been naked.
Pride Days, Pride Parades, anywhere where there is color and movement and Beyoncé.
Varies wildly. One day it’s diet foods, the next it’s nothing but amphetamines.
Often begins sentences with phrases like, “As a gay person myself,” or “Speaking as a gay man,” or “As someone who has been an out gay man for seven years now.”