Hawk

Hello Mr. Magazine - - CHALLENGE TRADITION -

Ayn­ran­dia ac­cip­itri­dae Hawks are the cor­po­rate beasts of the gay world, and ro­bust mem­bers of var­i­ous boards. What­ever you think of pol­i­tics, they’ll lis­ten to your mus­ings at­ten­tively, be­fore very gen­tly and diplo­mat­i­cally point­ing out how fuck­ing naïve you are. Eco­nom­i­cally lib­eral and fis­cally tight, Hawks do not see any dis­tinc­tions be­tween mind and body, and work out both with alarm­ing fre­quency. They will of­ten have sev­eral dual de­grees, a PhD and will be en­rolled in a post-doc, but un­der that suit is pure protein and pec­torals. Hawks are easy to spot. All you need to do is turn on a ca­ble news sta­tion or open the op-ed pages and look! There they are.

Diet: Nat­u­ral habi­tats:

Protein shakes, noth­ing else.

The gym (twice daily), busi­ness-class flight lounges, lead­er­ship con­fer­ences.

Mat­ing rit­u­als:

Ex­clu­sively mates in gym/ busi­ness-class flight lounge show­ers.

Uses the word “net­work” as a verb, fre­quently and with­out irony.

Does not sleep, has ac­tu­ally for­got­ten how to sleep, may need med­i­cal at­ten­tion.

Habits:

Dark­est se­cret:

Ben­jamin Law is a writer whose work reg­u­larly ap­pears in the Aus­tralian mag­a­zines

and

books:

He’s the au­thor of two (2010) and (2012). www.ben­jamin-law.com

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