Relax and keep up the good work: summer with a special-needs child
The email from my son’s teacher went out just before the end of the school year. She was sending home her students’ toothpaste and deodorant, along with a request that they keep working on their grooming skills over the summer.
I followed up about what else my 11-year-old with autism should practice. I suspected any list from his teacher would include his handwriting. Instead, she said Paul should focus on reading comprehension. (More on that later.)
If there’s one thing I’ve learned as the parent of a child with special needs, it’s that “long, lazy days of summer” doesn’t mean what it used to. In fact, it can conjure a bit of dread.
For most children headed back to school in the fall, the smell of chlorine has barely been rinsed from their hair, their tanned skin and scraped knees still bear witness to three months of adventure, and they’re already readjusting. But for many specialneeds children, regression, whether academic, social or functional, can take hold over the break.
Most of us parents can’t set up a makeshift classroom at home. Nor should we. Summer moves at a different pace and presents different possibilities for our special-needs kids.
So how do we strike a balance between helping them keep their skills up while also letting their hair down?
The answer for Erin Hasbrouck is largely teamwork. Her middle child, 10-year-old Max, has Down syndrome and was born profoundly deaf in his right ear, which has greatly affected his speech. The rising fourth-grader at Houston’s Sinclair Elementary, who loves swimming, basketball and playing outdoors, lives in the Heights with his parents and sisters — Julia, 13, and Emily, 8.
“We’ve always taken the approach to summer as being fun and laid-back for all of our kids,” said Hasbrouck, who over the summer has Max continue to read daily and complete online educational activities. He’s attending summer school and weekly private speech therapy. Additionally, Max benefits from playing “school” with his sisters, who enjoy doing flash cards, puzzles and other activities with him. Chores are a group effort, too.
“I also find that the summer gives us more opportunities to incorporate learning into activities that we don’t always have time for during the school year,” Hasbrouck said. “Max loves to cook, shop for groceries and play games. During the school year, we are so busy with the kids’ activities and homework that we don’t have time to do those things on a regular basis.”
Max’s team extends beyond home. His mom, who serves as Sinclair’s PTO treasurer, said his steady academic and social progress at school also is owed to the “great working relationship” the Hasbroucks have with his teacher.
Relationships with specialeducation teachers are a key to continuity over the break. Another autism teacher told me that because special-education students tend to have the same teacher a few years in a row, it’s helpful for parents to keep in touch over the summer if they see success in a certain area or their children’s behaviors or medical issues change significantly.
And she appreciates when parents use the same goals and wording with her students because it makes the transition back to school that much easier. For example, “We have really been working on using your strategies when you are disappointed; which strategy do you think would work best in this situation?”
Staying in a routine is great, this teacher said. Still, she acknowledged opportunities to practice having a “flexible brain” are “pretty fantastic.”
In my son’s case, it’s taking him a while to get in the groove of not being in a groove. Paul confirms with me nearly every day, “No school?” We look at a calendar to review when summer school and his camps will be held.
Paul’s teacher gives it to me straight, which I respect greatly. We’re following her recommendation that he answer questions about the fiction and nonfiction he’s reading and tell the stories back to me. “That will benefit him in more life events” than working on his poor handwriting, which she had him practice not so much for legibility as “to help him focus and be able to handle something that is frustrating without losing it.”
When he comes back from camp, I’ll ask him to retell for me all the fun things he did — but he may just find one of those notebooks with dotted lines waiting for him anyway.