THE TEXICAN
What’s your Houston superpower?
After enduring a hurricane powered by the largest rainfall in our nation’s history and a summer that feels as if we’re floating just above the sun’s corona, no one can say that Houstonians aren’t superheroes. Which is why we asked Houstonians about the superhuman skills they’ve acquired to survive in the city.
For some, it was the superpower to arrive at their favorite taco truck before the lunch rush and sidestepping a long wait. Others touted their ability to always use their turn signals while driving, making them some sort of super being whose strength and power is unmatched in this universe.
“I’m able to exit the freeway without crossing five lanes to do it, and when my city needs me, I can also go to the next one and just U-turn,” wrote a Houston hero who will one day have a monument built in their honor in front of City Hall.
One respondent said that their mate has the strange ability to always find a great parking spot in any lot. A cherry parking spot is a major deal around here, especially when grocery shopping. Here’s a list of some other responses, each with a clue to how we survive life in Houston.
“I am able to keep my truck in one lane while driving down Westheimer.” — Patrick
“I am able to find alternate routes, like the Force is guiding me.” — David
“I have the ability to change my shirt three times in a single day.” — Andrew
“Mosquitoes don’t mess with me, my Houston tiger blood is too potent for them.” — Scott
“I have been known, at times, to have a preternatural feeling for which lane will be the fastest at any given point in time and change lanes accordingly with little to no interruption in my personal traffic flow. In this way, I have also been known to make it through a packed Galleria area without once coming to a full stop.” — Cris
“My superpower is the ability to reject pool parties, with zero FOMO and the acceptance of my pale skin.” — Emily
“My superpower is being accustomed to the top layer of my epidermis getting burned off every time I start the car and the hot A/C air blows in my face.” — Josey
“Until last fall, it was swallowing tears from major sports franchise disappointments and using that spinach season after season to give me Popeye-like power required to turn the puny muscles of hope into steroidjuiced feats of strength, like season-ticket purchases and blind faith. Since the Astros won, though, it’s probably just knowing not to order where there’s slime in the ice machine.” — Jesse
“Sweating” — Tammy
A PANEL OF MARVEL’S “SPIDER-MAN” COMIC WITH THE HOUSTON CHRONICLE AS ITS STAR.