Rocky times with her dad

Dear Amy: My father punched me, body slammed me and choked me when I was a teenager and living with my parents.

He’s been an alcoholic my whole life. He lashes out at everyone around him. I moved out soon after I turned 18.

I am now 22, with a baby. I live with my fiancé.

I usually spend time with my parents on Saturdays because I don’t work and want to get out of the house.

Last Saturday, my father and I got into an argument, and he ended up throwing my daughter’s stuff into the yard. He proceeded to curse me out.

He has told my mother to not have any contact with me and to not let me into their house.

My dad’s birthday will be coming up in a month, and I do not plan on joining my family for the party.

Is it wrong of me to distance myself from my family because of something like this? Is it understandable that, until my dad gets help for his alcohol addiction, I do not want to be around him? The Black Sheep

Dear Black Sheep: Rather than spend time with your volatile and violent father, here are things you can do on Saturday mornings:

Pack your coffee and meet a friend at the park to push your babies in bucket swings; go to your local YWCA or community center for baby swim or gym classes; head to the public library for Saturday story time.

Engaging in group activities designed for parents and babies are a great way to meet and make friends. This could change your life dramatically.

Attend Al-anon (or another addiction support group) meetings (al-anon .org). You need help to see where you fit in your family system.

Let people who have walked your path, walk alongside you and your daughter. I’m pulling for you.

Dear Amy: I have disabilities that cause me to have a tough time using the standard stalls in the women’s restroom.

I have to use the “handicapped” stall due to its size and the height of the commode, along with the grab bars. I also take water pills, so when I gotta go, I gotta go.

Every so often I have had to wait for a young person with obviously no difficulties to get done using the stall.

Is it wrong for me to get so annoyed with people’s inconsiderate behavior? Disabled in P-Ville

Dear Disabled: The stalls are there so that you and any other person with special needs can safely use a public toilet. If all the other stalls are occupied, anyone should use the larger stall to move the line along. That stall needn’t stand empty, waiting for a disabled person.

These stalls are also useful for parents with young children, older people who use grab bars, anyone with a suitcase or stroller or large people.

Yes, if there are other stalls available and an obviously able-bodied person is occupying the handicap stall, you have every right to be annoyed.

If all the stalls are occupied, you should queue in front of the handicap stall door (because that is the only stall you can safely use). Yes, you may have to wait, but sometimes, that’s just how things work out.

The kindest thing is for anyone in a bathroom queue to let anybody who has a greater need go first.