She wants to skip the trip

Los Angeles Times - - COMICS - Send ques­tions to Amy Dick­in­son by email to ask amy@ amy­dick­in­son. com.

Dear Amy: My sweet­heart wants to plan a fam­ily trip. At f irst it in­volved our house­hold and one other. Now it has ex­panded to in­clude plans in­volv­ing many other house­holds.

I am un­com­fort­able with this, and have said as much.

The fam­i­lies in­volved have made sug­ges­tions to make me more com­fort­able, such as the idea that we can check tem­per­a­tures, etc., but I think it is a dan­ger­ous idea to gather in this way.

How would you nav­i­gate this?

Anx­ious An­nie

Dear Anx­ious: Here’s how I am nav­i­gat­ing this sort of dilemma: I’m do­ing it by say­ing “no.” This can be sur­pris­ingly hard to do, es­pe­cially dur­ing the hol­i­day sea­son.

I con­sider a no now an in­vest­ment in a fu­ture yes.

If your sweet­heart de­cides to take this trip with­out you, he should be tested just be­fore he goes and main­tain safe prac­tices ( tem­per­a­ture tak­ing, mask­ing, main­tain­ing good ven­ti­la­tion and so­cial dis­tanc­ing). Then he should iso­late else­where af­ter he re­turns and reen­ter your home only af­ter a neg­a­tive test re­sult.

You should as­sume that he will not main­tain ideal COVID pro­to­col while he is gone, but iso­la­tion and test­ing af­ter­ward should ease your mind.

Dear Amy: I have an aunt who may die within a cou­ple of weeks.

Due to COVID I won’t be able to say good­bye in per­son or at­tend the funeral, but I do want to send f low­ers and do­nate to a char­ity.

Does the eti­quette sur­round­ing f low­ers/ do­na­tions change at all? Should any­thing be sent to the dy­ing per­son in ad­vance, or should it be treated like a reg­u­lar pass­ing and f low­ers be sent to the fam­ily af­ter?

Con­fused in B. C.

Dear Con­fused: Do not send your aunt a funeral spray. But if you think a beau­ti­ful bou­quet of her fa­vorite f low­ers would make her happy, send them to her.

The most im­por­tant thing for you to do for your aunt in ad­vance of her death is to let her know how much you love and ap­pre­ci­ate her. Whether that is through a card, let­ter, a video shot on your phone and shown to her — you have the op­por­tu­nity to tell her you love her, and that she means a lot to you.

Af­ter her death, you could send a bou­quet or a food bas­ket to her nearby fam­ily mem­bers, and do­nate to a char­ity in her mem­ory.

Dear Amy: My daugh­ter grad­u­ated from col­lege two years ago, with a bi­ol­ogy de­gree and an de­sire to at­tend a physi­cian’s as­sis­tant pro­gram. She did not get in any­where last year, but I en­cour­aged her to keep try­ing.

She had been work­ing as a tech­ni­cian for an eye doc­tor. Last month, she­moved across the coun­try for a new job, which pays much bet­ter, and she is do­ing well.

Now, a month into her new job, she has been ac­cepted into a great PA pro­gram back East. She will have to move across the coun­try and be in place 10 months from now.

When should she no­tify her new em­ployer that she will be leav­ing?

Dad

Dear Dad: Con­grat­u­la­tions to your daugh­ter!

She should not feel any pres­sure to an­nounce her plans un­til she is far­ther along in her cur­rent em­ploy­ment. De­pend­ing on the cul­ture at the of­fice and her re­la­tion­ship with her em­ploy­ers, I think six weeks’ no­tice is am­ple.

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