Man­teca, how do I love thee, let me count . . .

Manteca Bulletin - - Front Page - DEN­NIS WY­ATT Ed­i­tor

Man­teca, I love thee for . . .

. . . the fact there are six check cash­ing places, 24 Mex­i­can restau­rants, nine nail sa­lons, 16 car washes, eight used car lots and three tat­too par­lors.

. . . the will­ing­ness of peo­ple to open their hearts and check­books for the needy as well as kids.

. . . peo­ple that do­nate $50,000 to buy tur­keys for needy fam­i­lies at the hol­i­days on a mo­ment’s no­tice.

. . . the sweet smell of al­mond blos­soms in mid­Febru­ary.

. . . weeks when a high of 95 de­grees is con­sid­ered a cool­ing trend.

. . . the fact the high­light of fam­i­lies’ so­cial cal­en­dars is a (pick one) crab, spaghetti, or pork feed.

. . . tak­ing pride in ef­forts that put out 2,400 United States flags on oc­ca­sions such as the Fourth of July, Dec. 7, Me­morial Day, Martin Luther King Day, Sept. 11 and La­bor Day.

. . . a name that so many peo­ple from out of town seem to be at ease hav­ing fun with by say­ing “M-a-a-a-a-n-n-n-t-e-e-c-a!”

. . . those quirky and con­fus­ing street signs where it is Crom Street on one side of an in­ter­sec­tion and Cherry Lane on the other, Kel­ley Drive on one side and Alameda Street on the other, as well as the street with four names — Cot­tage Av­enue-Spreck­els Av­enue-In­dus­trial Park Drive-Mis­sion Ridge Drive.

. . . res­i­dents who find them­selves us­ing the phrase “When I used to live in (pick one) Pleasan­ton, Fre­mont, Hay­ward, San Jose.”

. . . out-of-town guests who in­sist you take them to Bass Pro Shops.

. . .for end­less ben­e­fit car washes on Satur­days to help fam­i­lies in need, youth sports pro­grams or other worth­while causes.

. . . be­ing a place where some­one men­tions “The Lab” the first thing you think about is not your neigh­bor’s Labrador re­triever.

. . . the idea of quiet time is not hear­ing thumper mu­sic while stuck in a traf­fic jam on In­ter­state 205.

. . . hav­ing res­i­dents who com­plain about there be­ing noth­ing but Mex­i­can restau­rants in town but you can hardly wait for a Chevy’s to open here.

. . . for driv­ers who be­lieve stop signs are sim­ply ad­vi­sory in na­ture.

. . . folks who talk openly of us­ing a Toter and it has noth­ing to do with use of an il­le­gal sub­stance.

. . . mak­ing peo­ple be­lieve Bill Mur­ray didn’t take his ob­ses­sion with go­phers in “Cad­dyshack” far enough.

. . . res­i­dents that pro­nounce al­monds with­out an “L” and know the joke that it’s be­cause the “L” gets knocked out of them when they’re har­vested.

. . . its name grac­ing bilin­gual pack­ag­ing for Ar­mour Star.

. .. be­ing the only place where one can asks you for di­rec­tions to Yosemite and you ask east or west.

. . . the pro­lif­er­a­tion of mini-stor­age com­plexes.

. . . driv­ers who have reached the con­clu­sion turn sig­nals are op­tional equip­ment.

. . . vot­ers who look for­ward to mu­nic­i­pal elec­tions with the same en­thu­si­asm as fans do the news the World Wrestling Fed­er­a­tion is com­ing to Golden One Cen­ter in Sacra­mento.

. . . peo­ple who don’t find any­thing strange about East Union High be­ing on North Union Road.

. . . driv­ers that be­lieve the DMV reg­u­la­tions re­quire man­ual hand sig­nals in­volv­ing the ex­ten­sion of the mid­dle fin­ger only.

. . . when some­one claims Half Moon Bay is the Pump­kin Cap­i­tal of the World and peo­ple ac­tu­ally bris­tle.

. . . folks who call the Man­teca Com­mu­nity School the Yosemite School and get an­noyed when school of­fi­cials tell you to stop calling it Yosemite School.

. . . peo­ple that plan their Satur­days around garage sales.

. . . those who be­lieve the ideal Man­teca busi­ness is one that ad­vances cash, sells Mex­i­can food, does nails and sells used cars all in one lo­ca­tion.

. . . the idea of a big night out on a Satur­day is to go through the Taco Bell drive through win­dow on your way to Wally World to buy toi­let pa­per and dog food.

. . . peo­ple who wave at po­lice of­fi­cers just to be friendly.

. . . storm re­ten­tion basins dou­bling as parks that pro­vide an oa­sis in neigh­bor­hoods.

. . . pol­icy mak­ers who can talk about af­ford­able hous­ing with a straight face when the me­dian price of re­sale hous­ing is $350,000.

. . . real manly fog that puts the “cute lit­tle cat’s paws” stuff in San Fran­cisco to shame.

...a li­brary that peo­ple ac­tu­ally use to read books in­stead of sleep­ing in as they do in big­ger cities.

. . .can­di­dates who be­lieve Man­teca pol­i­tics is a full con­tract sport.

. . . peo­ple go­ing bonkers over pump­kins ev­ery Oc­to­ber.

. . . still be­ing con­sid­ered “home” to the world fa­mous Man­teca Water­slides de­spite be­ing gone for more than 15 years.

. . . be­ing safe to go for a stroll in the evening through res­i­den­tial neigh­bor­hoods.

. . . rough pave­ment on South Main Street that makes wheel align­ment a growth in­dus­try.

. . . peo­ple who wouldn’t want to live any­where else.

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