Take It Off­line

Maxim - - INFORMER: ONLINE DATING -

1 MAKE THE FIRST MOVE QUICKLY

The first mes­sage is on­line dat­ing’s do-or-die mo­ment. Why? Women ini­ti­ate in­ter­ac­tions only 8 per­cent of the time. So man up. The key is “to come across as an ap­proach­able, nor­mal guy she wouldn’t mind hav­ing a drink with,” ad­vises Talia Gold­stein, CEO of match­mak­ing ser­vice Three Day Rule.

2 SHOW SOME EF­FORT

The most un­ap­peal­ing chat bub­ble is the one con­tain­ing thought­less open­ers like “Hi,” “Hello, beau­ti­ful,” or a lame one-liner. A bet­ter ap­proach: “Read her pro­file and es­tab­lish a com­mon­al­ity,” says Gold­stein. “Maybe you’ve trav­eled to the same coun­try or have a mu­tual friend. She’ll scroll through and read mes­sages that in­di­cate you’ve read her pro­file.” So call out her Smiths tee or that stunning photo of Machu Pic­chu, or try out one of our ap­proved open­ers be­low.

3 ASK QUES­TIONS

She re­sponded? Great. Don’t keep her wait­ing. Un­like stan­dard tex­ting, ea­ger­ness plays well in on­line dat­ing. Ask her where she works or what she did this past week­end—any ques­tion that re­quires more than a yes or no an­swer. And take the con­ver­sa­tion off­line af­ter no more than two or three days of ex­changes. Say: “I hate chat­ting on this app—here’s my num­ber.” She’ll likely send hers.

4 TAKE CHARGE

Ask her out within 24 hours, or she’ll lose in­ter­est. The plans don’t have to be for to­mor­row, but get some­thing on the books for the near fu­ture. “Al­ways go to her hood for the first date,” Gold­stein says. “And give her op­tions: one fancy, one ca­sual. She’ll love that you’re tak­ing charge.” Don’t text un­til the day be­fore. Re­mind her you ex­ist, but don’t be needy. An­tic­i­pa­tion is key.

SO THERE’S A MATCH. SHE SEEMS AT­TRAC­TIVE AND IN­TER­EST­ING AND DOESN’T AP­PEAR TO BE A SEX­U­AL­IZED SPAM­BOT. FOL­LOW TH­ESE FOUR STEPS TO GET FROM PHONE TO FACE-TO-FACE.

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