Merced Sun-Star - - Entertainment - Dear Abby is writ­ten by Jeanne Phillips. Con­tact Dear Abby at or P.O. Box 69440, Los An­ge­les, CA 90069.


Ever since high school, our adult daugh­ter has had mood swings. My wife and I thought she’d grow out of it as she ma­tured, but she hasn’t.

She’s an only child, and we spoiled her – bought her cars and paid for col­lege. She mar­ried and had two won­der­ful kids, but her mood swings per­sist. When I men­tioned she see a coun­selor or ther­a­pist as a way to get some third-party ad­vice and sort things out, she hit the ceil­ing and told me I was the one who needs ther­apy.

Af­ter 10 years she di­vorced her hus­band. She got cus­tody of the kids and the house. Her di­vorce cost us a great deal of money. Her au­thor­i­ta­tive and moody be­hav­ior is af­fect­ing our grand­chil­dren.

Abby, what would you do for a more healthy re­la­tion­ship?

– Still Her Dad In Florida


I would look back and ex­am­ine all the things I did to fos­ter her be­hav­ior. An ex­am­ple would be pay­ing for her di­vorce. Then I would stop do­ing them and not re­sume un­til she agreed to con­sult a psy­chother­a­pist about her mood swings. Don’t do it for her or for your­self. Do it for the sake of your grand­chil­dren.


Be­fore I met my boyfriend of eight months, I planned a 10day Ja­pan va­ca­tion for next year with my best guy friend, “J.” We have been friends for eight years, and have never had any ro­man­tic in­ter­est in each other.

My boyfriend knew from the be­gin­ning that this trip was go­ing to hap­pen next year. Be­cause the date wasn’t “set in stone” or paid for un­til re­cently, my boyfriend thinks I should have called it off. He says his feel­ings are hurt. He said if I was go­ing with a fe­male friend he wouldn’t care.

I still want to take the trip. Am I be­ing a bad girl­friend?

– Tripped Up In The East


A “bad” girl­friend? No. An in­de­pen­dent one, yes. Not only should you take the trip, you should also use the time away to de­cide if you want a life part­ner as in­se­cure as your boyfriend ap­pears to be.

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