The best man at Pippa Middleton’s wedding was actually the worst
You know how Pippa Middleton finally married her very rich beau, James Matthews, this weekend? No, I know — I was too focused on whatever was happening with Meghan Markle and The Hot Ginger Prince, too. But after all, it was Pippa’s day, so let’s give her some attention for a little while.
According to E! News, the reception was fun and games — and the perfect opportunity for Matthew’s best man, Justin Johannsen, to make some uncomfortable bro-y jokes that nobody wanted to hear. Hooray!
The bawdy groomsman started off very nicely, by referring to 34-year-old Pippa as the love of James’ life, deeming her “beautiful” and “energetic” and “loyal” and … “soft-mouthed.” He added that she “comes on command” and has a “great behind.” Oh, dear. “But that’s enough about James’ spaniel,” he quipped. “I’m here to talk about James’ love, Pippa.” Wow, this dude sounds like a nightmare!
But he said some nice stuff, too. What a dude. Addressing Pippa directly he said, “I think I can say for everyone, that you look stunning. The image of perfection … You make James extremely happy.” Nice, I guess!
Can’t help but wonder, though — what did Meghan and Harry think?