The hottest char­ac­ters on the new ‘Twin Peaks’

Both Dale Coop­ers can get it.

Metro USA (Boston) - - ENTERTAINMENT - KATE MOONEY @yat­in­brook­lyn

The new “Twin Peaks” has ar­rived, and the res­i­dents are look­ing damn fine 25 years later. Lynch’s new take brings with it a whole new level of bizarre — and no short­age of eye candy. Based on who we’ve en­coun­tered so far in the first two episodes, here’s who’s still got it from the re­turn­ing cast, and who’s look­ing fresh among the new ar­rivals. (Spoiler: not Matthew Lil­lard.)

Dale Cooper #1 (Kyle MacLach­lan)

We’ll call him “Good Cooper,” the FBI agent we know and cher­ish, with boy­ish good looks and equal pas­sions for cherry pie and the truth. He’s cur­rently trapped in the Black Lodge, be­ing a pretty good sport about hav­ing to con­tend with bizarro ver­sions of Laura Palmer, the on­earmed man and even a de­ranged, sen­tient tree, while his BOB-pos­sessed dop­pel­ganger wreaks havoc in the real world. We hope he gets out soon. In the mean­time, just look at those kind eyes, that lovely head of hair, that chin!

Dale Cooper #2 (MacLach­lan)

Bad Cooper! We’re pleased that Dale’s Bob­pos­sessed dop­pel­ganger is more badass than scary, be­cause we’re not sure we could han­dle the lat­ter. Bad Coop is a lowlife con man with bot­tom­less black eyes, shaggy hair, a ’70s era leather jacket — and just enough sex ap­peal. We’re pretty sure MacLach­lan is wear­ing bronzer. (Yes, he’s slightly car­i­ca­tured, but we’re here for it.) We’re ready for Good Coop’s eman­ci­pa­tion from red-roomed hell, but we’ll gladly watch his vil­lain­ous ver­sion strut around, se­duce and set fire to ev­ery­thing in his path.

Laura Palmer (Sh­eryl Lee)

The show’s cen­tral vic­tim has re­turned, and while we can’t say for sure what or who she is now (“I died, yet I live,” she tells Cooper, in that slow mo­tion, Black Lodge af­fect, sashay­ing across the pat­terned floor) we’re happy to lay eyes on her again, this time, not wrapped in plas­tic. Lee a quar­ter cen­tury later is still a looker, and we didn’t re­al­ize how sat­is­fy­ing it’d be to see her lean over and plant a kiss on Cooper’s lips, be­fore as­cend­ing with a witch­like wail, pos­si­bly swal­lowed up by the red cur­tains for­ever. Long live Laura Palmer.

Deputy Hawk (Michael Horse)

What a sil­ver … hawk. Deputy Tommy “Hawk” Hill was fine as hell in the orig­i­nal “Twin Peaks,” and we’re pleased to re­port he looks ex­actly the same, dan­gly ear­rings and all, ex­cept now he’s rock­ing an ex­quis­ite sil­ver mane. He fields calls from the Log Lady, who tells him “some­thing’s miss­ing,” and roams the woods, us­ing his Na­tive Amer­i­can in­stincts to try and find it. Go, Hawk, go.

Shelly John­son, (Mad­chen Amick)

Grown-up diner girl Shelly John­son is now a to­tal MILF. We catch her throw­ing back shots with her gal pals at the Road­house, while James (James David Green­blatt) — still creepy and an­noy­ing — can’t take his eyes off her from across the room. Where’s Bobby? We like the idea of Shelly sin­gle and free of dirt­bags Leo and Bobby who both dragged her down in her early years. Free Shelly! And James, get a life.

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