Aunt’s memory issues divide close-knit family

Dear Abby: I’m part of a large, close-knit family. My mother and her sisters have condominiums in the same complex. One dear aunt is having a great deal of trouble with her memory and word retrieval. She recently stopped recognizing her daughter and no longer calls any of us by name.

The problem is, some of this aunt’s children are in denial. They refuse to believe there’s anything wrong with their mom and insist that she is showing signs of normal aging. They have stated this so strongly that the other siblings are afraid to raise the issue of an assessment for fear of angering them further. Please advise. — Concerned For Auntie

Dear Concerned: Close family members are typically the first to notice memory issues, but often they are hesitant to say something even when they know something is wrong.

Initiating these challenging conversations is important. Discussion can enable early diagnosis, which has important benefits, including better disease management, more time for critical care planning and providing diagnosed individuals a voice in their future care. It also provides an opportunity to address concerns before a crisis situation arises.

To encourage families to have these conversations, the Alzheimer’s Association has partnered with the Ad Council in creating “Our Stories” (alz.org/ourstories). It features real stories of people who noticed changes in their loved ones and took the difficult step of having a conversation. In addition, the Alzheimer’s Association’s free 24/7 Helpline (800272-3900) is available for families addressing these important conversations and other caregiving concerns.