In­com­pre­hen­si­ble Fash­ions

MidWeek (Hawaii) - - Front Page - PA­TER­NITY WARD D. L. Ste­wart

Ev­ery s o of t e n my wife will sur­vey the con­tents of my closet and de­cide that some part of my wardrobe needs to be re­placed.

Re­cently, for in­stance, she de­clared that my khaki slacks were “tired.” And they were out of style, be­cause they had wide legs and pleats in the front.

I have no idea how my pants got tired, be­cause they spend most of their lives just hang­ing in my closet, but I knew that meant I was sup­posed to buy new ones.

So I do­nated my tired khakis to Good­will and bought three pairs of khakis that had lots of en­ergy, nar­row legs and no pleats.

My wife said they made me look younger. I don’t see how pants could make me look younger, un­less I wore them over my head to cover my in­creas­ingly gray hair; I think she just said that to counter the shock of see­ing the charges on my credit card.

But the fickle fin­ger of fash­ion never stops pointing out I’m one or more steps be­hind.

Be­cause ac­cord­ing to a story last week in The Wall Street Jour­nal, khaki slacks with wide legs and pleats are in again.

Read­ing The Wall Street Jour­nal for fash­ion ad­vice may seem l i ke check­ing Peo­ple mag­a­zine for hedge fund news, but ac­cord­ing to the ar­ti­cle’s headline, “No longer the bland con­form­ist, by Joe Martin khakis freestyle into fall with de­tails that give them a styl

The cap­tion of a photo show­ing two guys in baggy pants and high top ten­nis shoes de­clared, “Wider (but gives these pairs an edge over your grand­dad’s Dock­ers.”

I don’t r emem­ber my grand­fa­ther ever wear­ing Dock­ers. But i f he did, I doubt it was to have a stylish have been to keep legs warm and pre­vent him from be­ing ar­rested for in­de­cent ex­po­sure.

Ac­com­pa­ny­ing the ar­ti­cle were other pic­tures of khakis - tinc­tive de­tails.

One pair was de­scribed as “rake-the-leaves-and-cracka- beer- in- Oc­to­ber pants.” They cost $228.

An­other had a cross-front fly, an elas­tic waist and a stitched-in crease, which ex­plains why they cost $415.

A pair of Gucci’s in­cluded some­thing called a gros­grain strip in the back, which ap­par­ently makes them worth the $660 price tag.

I’ve never un­der­stood who gets to de­cide what’s in style and why I should care about what they think.

All I know is that some­where there are guys who shopped at Good­will wear­ing my tired, baggy, pleated khakis, which now are more fash­ion­able than the new khakis I just bought.

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