He Couldn’t Baguette Away With It

MidWeek (Hawaii) - - Front Page -

Jerry Sargeant, 39, of Chel­tenham in Glouces­ter­shire, Eng­land, who claims on his web­site to be able to cure can­cer via Skype, has been con­victed in West­min­ster Mag­is­trate’s Court of vi­o­lat­ing the U.K.’s 1939 Can­cer Act, which pro­hibits ad­ver­tis­ing ser­vices that “of­fer to treat any per­son for can­cer.”

The Daily Mail re­ports that Sargeant, who calls him­self “The Fa­cil­i­ta­tor,” says he dis­cov­ered his tal­ent for “Star Magic” when he saw a body dur­ing a car ac­ci­dent in Ro­ma­nia.

He also claims to have flown to Al­pha Cen­tauri on a space­ship and re­turned to Earth just min­utes later.

Sargeant’s heal­ing ses­sions cost 90 pounds for 15 min­utes, but he told po­lice that ap­point­ments can go up to an hour be­cause “you can’t put a time on magic.” He will be sen­tenced on Nov. 8.

Ar­chae­ol­o­gists in Cam­bridgeshire, Eng­land, have dis­cov­ered the re­mains of a nearly 200-year-old colony of utopi­ans es­pous­ing “free love and wife-swap­ping,” ac­cord­ing to Metro News.

The Manea Fen com­mu­nity, es­tab­lished in 1838 by Methodist min­is­ter Wil­liam Hod­son, who cham­pi­oned a com­mu­nity free from marr i age, money or monogamy, once num­bered 150 mem­bers, but lasted only 25 months be­fore suc­cumb­ing to “per­son­al­ity clashes and ob­jec­tions to the prac­tice of free love.”

Lead re­searcher Dr. Marcus Brit­tain be­lieves “they got the wrong peo­ple, they had no la­bor skills and put in no time and ef­fort, they were drunk, they went into lo­cal broth­els, and thought they could build a utopia with­out break­ing a sweat.”

Lisa Faye Stout, 53, came up with an un­usual scape­goat for the mess po­lice of­fi­cers found in her room Sept. 10 at New Cas­tle, In­di­ana’s Raintree Inn, ac­cord­ing to Muncie Star Press.

Vam­pires had “de­stroyed ev­ery­thing,” Stout told the of to re­ports that she had shown up in the ho­tel bar wear­ing no pants or un­der­gar­ments. The front desk clerk also said Stout spit on her and threat­ened to kill her. As she was taken into cus­tody, Stout spit some more and threat­ened to

Po­lice of­fi­cers i n Surf City, North Carolina, stopped Zachary Kings­bury, 20, of Lyn­nwood, Washington, on Aug. 30 and asked him to step out of his car be­cause they had spot­ted con­tra­band in­side. Kings­bury com­plied, but then took off run­ning, head­ing to­ward the beach — and didn’t stop when he hit the ocean.

Ac­cord­ing to the Port City Daily, Kings­bury con­tin­ued swim­ming for al­most an hour as po­lice tracked him with a drone- mounted cam­era, which al­lowed them to also see the shark trail­ing him in the wa­ter.

At that point, said Surf Cit y Po­lice Chief Ron Shanadan, the chase “be­came a res­cue op­er­a­tion,” and mul­ti­ple emer­gency crews were dis­patched to pick up the fugi­tive …

The first rule of thiev­ery ought to be: Draw no at­ten­tion to one­self. An un­named driver in Lelystad, The Nether­lands, ap­par­ently hadn’t learned this rule be­fore he strapped two large lamp­posts to the roof of his tiny twodoor car and drove away from Almere, where po­lice be­lieve he stole them.

The NL Times re­ported that of­fi­cers stop­ping the man Aug. 1 smelled al­co­hol on his breath, but his of­fenses didn’t end there: His li­cense had been de­clared in­valid late last year, and his car was unin­sured. It was un­clear what the man planned to use the lamp­posts for.

Gabriel Bishop of Sellersville, Penn­syl­va­nia, put all his faith in his car’s GPS sys­tem on the evening of Sept. 9, even as it di­rected him to fol­low a bike path run­ning along­side the Le­high River in Eas­ton.

Ac­cord­ing to lehigh­val­leylive.com, when the path led un­der a low bridge, Bishop re­al­ized his mis­take and tried to back up, but ended up rolling his car into the river.

Eas­ton po­lice re­ported that Bishop was un­in­jured, but he did re­ceive ci­ta­tions for mul

As Hur­ri­cane Irma bore down on Florida in early Septem­ber, the Pasco Coun that reg­is­tered sex of­fend­ers, who would not be able to shel­ter with other cit­i­zens, “need some­place to go just like any other cit­i­zen.”

The Tampa Bay Times re­ported that sex of­fend­ers were di­rected to Wire­grass Ranch High School in Wes­ley Chapel. Pasco County Sher­iff’s spokesman Kevin Doll noted that of­fend­ers found in other shel­ters where chil­dren were present were sub­ject to ar­rest, but said the preda­tor shel­ter would wel­come of­fend­ers from other coun­ties.

In nearby Polk County, of­fi­cials were not so gen­er­ous, telling sex of­fend­ers, “If you are a preda­tor, find some­where else to go,” and an­nounc­ing that they would be check­ing IDs at the door and ar­rest­ing any­one with an out­stand­ing war­rant.

In­cum­bent may­oral can­di­date Charles Pen­der erected his cam­paign signs in Cor­ner Brook, New­found­land and Labrador, Canada, Aug. 30, but when he woke up Aug. 31, he found that they had been van­dal­ized — with hot dogs.

CBC News re­ported that some­one had cut round holes in the signs and in­serted hot dogs to look as if Pen­der was smok­ing a ci­gar. Pen­der called it “mi­nor mis­chief” but noted that the signs are ex­pen­sive. He called t he po­lice, but he feels it’s un­likely the frank ban­dit will be caught.

He hopes to turn the in­ci­dent into a good laugh with a “bun-raiser” later in the elec­tion sea­son.

A movie stunt­man in High Wy­combe, Buck­ing­hamshire, Eng­land, put his skills to work when a po­ten­tial buyer of his Mercedes Benz tried to take off with the car Sept. 13.

The Tele­graph r eported that Matt Spooner met the “buyer” and gave a test drive in the car, but the thief wouldn’t get out and started to take off.

So, Spooner told re­porters, “I ran round to the front and asked him po­litely to step out. I then ended up on the front of the ve­hi­cle and it be­gan to move.”

The driver en­tered a high­way, but when he fi­nally slowed down, Spooner let go and “skid­ded off to the side of the curb,” suf­fer­ing cuts and bruises to his face.

While Spooner cre­ates - vises, “It’s a bad plan to do them your­self.”

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