Meet the Colono­scopies

Modern Healthcare - - Outliers -

And on an­other mu­si­cal note, from the sub­lime to the … well, less sub­lime, we have the Colono­scopies.

Half a dozen SSM Health Care ex­ec­u­tives and ad­min­is­tra­tors banded to­gether as the Colono­scopies late last year to per­form an al­tered ren­di­tion of the Step­pen­wolf clas­sic “Born to be Wild” at the sys­tem’s Show­case for Shar­ing event. The group, which in­cludes three pres­i­dents of SSM, took to the stage wear­ing stan­dard-is­sue coun­ter­cul­ture re­galia, in­clud­ing rain­bow-hued T-shirts, sun­glasses, and sev­eral wigs that dra­mat­i­cally con­trasted with the mem­bers’ eye­brow colors.

A Web video of the per­for­mance shows the band get­ting off to a rather, um, un­even start be­fore launch­ing into the trade­mark gui­tar riff from “Born to be Wild” that gets the crowd clap­ping. And then the lyrics to “Born Per­centiled” start, sung si­mul­ta­ne­ously by three band mem­bers: “Get your mo­tor run­nin’/On Press Ganey’s high­way/Lookin’ for per­centiles/And a 99 our way!” While Out­liers is not a rock critic, let’s just say their per­for­mance makes up for its lack of mu­si­cal pre­ci­sion with a pas­sion for per­centiles.

The per­for­mance might have been des­tined to live on only in the mem­o­ries of the 350 or so SSM em­ploy­ees in the au­di­ence, and any­one who stum­bled across a video on SSM’s cor­po­rate Web site. (To watch, go to

How­ever, SSM de­sign­ers couldn’t re­sist the tie-dyed colors and put a pic­ture of Colono­scopies gui­tarist and SSM St. Mary’s Health Cen­ter Pres­i­dent Bill Jen­nings on the cover of their quar­terly em­ployee news­let­ter. Some­thing about Jen­nings’ neatly coiffed hair and the pre­ci­sion time­piece con­spic­u­ously peek­ing out from the bot­tom of his tie-dyed sleeve seem to ar­gue against his go­ing on tour any­time soon, how­ever.

Jen­nings adopted the garb, if not the wig, fit­ting the oc­ca­sion.

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