Ahoy, mateys! The cap­tain has a health­care les­son,

Modern Healthcare - - Late News -

Out­liers sees that the An­nals of Emer­gency Medicine is con­tribut­ing some­thing just in time for in­ter­na­tional Talk Like A Pi­rate Day on Sept. 19 with the pub­li­ca­tion of a new hip-dis­lo­ca­tion-ad­just­ment method called the “Cap­tain Mor­gan tech­nique.”

Us­ing this tech­nique, ER physi­cians can treat a dis­lo­cated hip by plac­ing one foot atop the pa­tient’s gur­ney, strik­ing a pose sim­i­lar to the mus­ta­chioed cor­po­rate logo for a cer­tain brand of dis­tilled-su­gar liquor com­monly mixed with cola. It was de­scribed in one news re­lease as, “the clas­sic Cap­tain Mor­gan pose, sub­sti­tut­ing a gur­ney for the keg of rum.” (And who wouldn’t trade a gur­ney for a keg of rum?)

The method in­volves the doc­tor putting his or her knee be­hind the pa­tient’s leg and then pulling up on the leg while ro­tat­ing the hip joint back into place.

Sounds painful, but for doc­tors it rep­re­sents a key in­no­va­tion be­cause they can re­set a hip joint while stand­ing, in­stead of hav­ing to climb atop the pa­tient’s gur­ney.

The An­nals pub­lished a study of the tech­nique that found a near-per­fect suc­cess rate us­ing it, with the only ex­cep­tion be­ing a roller-skat­ing ac­ci­dent vic­tim who had a “frac­ture-dis­lo­ca­tion” of the hip that re­quired sur­gi­cal re­pair. (Again, ouch!)

Avast, ye doc­tors!

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