Master Sommelier Blind-tastes a Glass of Water
For Shara Mccallum
This glass: did you rinse it? I ask because there's sediment swirling like a time-lapse of a galaxy if stars were debris without their shining.
So you rinsed it. With gutter water I presume, then dried it with a mechanic's rag. Then it's tap.
Now on to the nose:
the chlorine is overwhelming, wow, who shoved me into a swimming pool? It's positively tap. I'm also picking up some witchgrass
and moneywort, it's not easy with all this sodium chloride assaulting my sinuses. Penny, I'm detecting old penny, a hint of natural gas. I have to say
hesitant to taste this.
Here it goes:
O, damn my astute taste buds! There is definitely chlorine in this ghastly thing I refuse to call water. It's just bleach, weeds, petrol, brass, but mostly bleach. No mineral notes whatsoever.
I'm going tap from a brass faucet, from a region ruined by fracking. This is New World, possibly United States or Brazil. I'm calling United States, Pennsylvania,
Laurel Highlands, 2013 vintage.
I have to say: This faucet you found? The small town where you found it? Their mayor does not
love them enough.