BAD SIGN AS STORM STRIKES

It might be too late for most of us, but medical researchers have just declared that we’re not supposed to sleep with dogs. Unfortunately this warning was only issued for the canine variety, probably because too many of us humans (not me, of course!) already know firsthand the dangers of sleeping with two-legged dogs. Rotten sons o’ b-----. Anyway, according to the September issue of Mayo Clinic Proceedings, it’s OK for dogs to sleep IN your room, but not ON your bed. Like hosptial researchers know! No one in history has ever been able to get a good night’s sleep in a hospital because the staff wakes you up every five minutes to make sure you’re sleeping. I’d rather be kept awake by a dog. The four-legged kind.

Call him the Him-a-Cane. The only bright spot of horrific storms are often the sign language interpreters. Sandy had hers and now Irma’s sign language interpreter has captured the country’s imagination with his wild gestures including sticking his...