Houston’s just a street

Houston ace — or ace-until-he-gotshelled-Wednesday-night — Dallas Keuchel woke up from an apparent coma to proclaim, “New York is no joke.” Keuchel is now the eternal butt of one for having had the bizarre awakening that 49,647 screaming fans, rabid at their shot at another title and drowning out a tiny handful of Astro backers, can be a fierce force to contend with.

The bumpkin has suddenly discovered that the most storied franchise in sports, with 27 World Series championships, 40 pennants and 56 Hall of Famers, has a base of support to match. A few other things he should know: A skyline that boasts the Empire State and the Chrysler buildings is no joke compared to one defined by that one ugly slab and that other one and the Astrodome.

The home of Theodore Roosevelt, Jane Jacobs, Alexander Hamilton, Eleanor Roosevelt, Al Pacino, Spider-Man and Chris Rock is no joke compared to the place that gave us Hilary Duff, Tila Tequila, Randy Quaid and Ted Cruz.

The home of Wall Street, Broadway, the world’s best shopping, a million restaurants and the planet’s best culture is no joke compared to an oil town with some barbecue.

We’ll give Houston this: It produced Beyoncé. Want to trade her for Harvey Weinstein? We’ll even throw in a player to be named later.