‘A Walk in the Woods’
AROUND a decade ago, plans to film “A Walk in the Woods’’ as the long-awaited screen reunion of Paul Newman and Robert Redford fell apart because of Newman’s failing health. Redford really should have left it at that following Newman’s death in 2008.
There’s not much to recommend in the lame, unfunny and plodding comedy starring Nick Nolte and Redford that’s been derived from Bill Bryson’s slight memoir about his quixotic 1990s attempt to hike the entire grueling 2,200mile Appalachian Trail with a very shaky companion.
Playing Bryson (who was 44 when he wrote the book), the rugged, 79-year-old Redford actually looks like he might be fit enough to accomplish this trek.
Bryson’s English wife, Catherine (Emma Thompson), tries to convince him that it’s an absolutely insane idea by printing out newspaper stories about deaths on the trail.
Equally unenthusiastic are contemporaries whom Bryson invites to join him on the five-month hike from Georgia to Maine — that is, those who haven’t already died themselves.
When Stephen Katz (Nolte), a former pal he hasn’t spoken to (with good reason) for 30 years, volunteers after hearing about it from a mutual friend, Bryson is desperate (or insane) enough to accept his offer over the phone.
Katz turns out to be a fat, wheezing, shambling wreck. Basically, he’s another variation on the vanity-free characters Nolte has played in practically every movie he’s made since “Down and Out in Beverly Hills,’’ way back in 1986.
Gags about fancy camping equipment? Check. Inedible food? Check. The physical limitations of advancing age? Check. Marauding bears? Check. Surprise blizzards in April? Check.
And of course, endless lame insults (“Nice guys! I hate ’em,’’ growls Nolte) are traded between this wildly mismatched couple. Few of these attempts at humor actually connect.
It’s directed without much punch by Ken Kwapis, a sitcom veteran whose feature rap sheet stretches back to “Sesame Street Presents: Follow That Bird’’ (1985) and includes the likes of “License To Wed’’ (2007).
Kristen Schaal is more annoying than funny as an obnoxious backpacker our aging heroes encounter and try to escape.
On the plus side, Mary Steenburgen puts in one of her alltoo-rare screen appearances as a friendly motel owner Bryson innocently flirts with.
Katz, meanwhile, actually hooks up with a chubby woman he meets in a laundromat — but of course she has the proverbial jealous husband with a shotgun.
I’m all for more movies starring actors in their 70s (Nolte is 74), but in this case, you’d be better off heading for the nearest theater showing Lily Tomlin (76) in “Grandma.’’
“A Walk in the Woods’’ is broad as a barn door, with two stars who have minimal chemistry. There’s not much in the way of reflection about mortality either, in case you were wondering.
Besides Thompson and Steenburgen, the best thing about it is the gorgeous scenery in Georgia. Because the guys, like the movie, poop out before going very far.
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