Hondo calls the hounds
MANY Bettor’s Guide contestants might have rested on the laurels that come with a regular-season championship, but gritty Hondo remained competitive through the divisionals, finishing with a combined 10-6 spread, and over/under mark.
As for the title games, Mr. Aitch is trying hard, but he’s doggin’ it.
Packers-Falcons: Aaron Rodgers might not know how to get along with his family, but he knows how to get along in the playoffs, which he proved against Jason “Spike” Garrett and the Cowboys last Sunday. Not that MVP candidate Matt Ryan, who directed the NFL’s highest-scoring offense, is a bum. However, he’s “Matty Ice,” who always goes cold at some point in the playoffs. Both teams have similar E-ZPass defenses, so Hondo’s guessing it will come down to a quarterback shootout, which isn’t a fair fight.
Aaron wins it with a homerun ball. Packers, 37-34
Note of caution: Mike Francesa reports the forecast calls for thunderstorms Sunday in Atlanta, so don’t be too quick to take the “over” at the Georgia Dome.
Steelers-Patriots: Nothing indicates you have serious red-zone issues quite like an 18-16 victory. However, Mike Tomlin points out that with the Chiefs having a bye: Those a-holes in K.C. had a week head start on us. The Killer B’s likely will make several trips to the end zone in Foxborough on Sunday night and keep it close, but the Patriots’ Killer B’s — Belichick and Brady — will make them pay the ultimate price for Antonio Brown posting Tomlin’s inflammatory comments.
The Steelers get the cover, but New England remains on the path to a warm LI podium moment with commissioner Roger Goodell. Patriots 30-26
Emauler Ed Buckmir’s addendum: Say what you will about Tomlin, given his postgame locker room comments about the Patriots, he might be a cheerleader, but he also is a good judge of character. In other areas worthy of commentary: By cutting the sentence of traitor Chelsea, née Bradley, Manning, from 35 to six years even though he put American lives at risk by releasing close to 750,000 classified documents, Barack Obama basically took a big WikiLeak on the American justice system.
Speaking of cuts, Chelsea reportedly has another important one scheduled soon.
This just in: For its reckless publication of a dossier that contained fabricated allegations involving Donald Trump, Russian hookers and golden showers, BuzzFeed has been named winner of the coveted Fake News Fake Pulitzer Prize. Also, a big HondoNation shoutout is in order for Lyin’ Brian Williams, who won the Fake News Fake Pulitzer Lifetime Achievement Award, narrowly beating out another anchor of ill repute, Dan Rather.
According to Vladimir Putin, “[Russian hookers] are undoubtedly the best in the world.” Not so fast, Vlad, that decision should be left up to a man who has been caught sampling the pros from both Russia and the U.S., none other than Eliot “Black Socks” Spitzer.
From BarkingMut, aka the HondoNation SoBe Correspondent: As a tip of the Make America Great Again hat to the hacking help Trump allegedly received in the election, the menu at the President’s Ball should include salad with Russian dressing, Chicken Kiev, and Pasta Putin-esca.
Derek Jeter has received special permission to build a higher wall around his mansion in Tampa. Trump says Mexico should pay for it. Not only that, but the incoming President also believes Mexico should pay for all the prize money on the NBC game show, “The Wall.”
Millennials reportedly are worse off than their parents with 20 percent less income, half the net worth, and less home ownership. What do you expect from people who hardly ever leave their parents’ basements?
ChapStick sales are expected to plummet dramatically now that the LapDog Media no longer will be needing to slather on the balm after their daily Obama buttkissing sessions.
The Pope has given women the OK to breastfeed during Mass. You would think that should cut down on the noise level at church, but the increased slurping probably will make it a wash.
CNN has accused Monica Crowley of extensive plagiarizing in her book, “What the (Bleep) Just Happened?” It’s good to see the network is being more vigilant these days about uncovering plagiarists than it was when commentator Fareed Zakaria regularly used pilfered material on their airwaves in 2012. Copy that?
Hillary and Bill Clinton reportedly will be in attendance at Trump’s swearing in as the 45th President. Rumor has it Bill’s alleged Chappaqua side action, who is known as the Energizer, also will attend. She will be the one wearing the shirt that reads: “I’m With Her … Husband.”
Here’s an interesting coincidence: Ringling Bros. Barnum & Bailey will end its long run soon, as will the Clinton Global Initiative. Who would have thought “The Greatest Show on Earth” would close the same year as “The Greatest Scam on Earth.”
Adios to the J.V.!