JUST A LITTLE RESPECT
Men and women can work better together. Here’s how
S OME say the #MeToo movement has inspired new rules at work, with men now having to take more of a literal, and metaphorical, handsoff approach in interactions with their female counterparts.
“When it comes to the opposite sex, no pats on the back, no one-to-one meals, no closed office doors. Don’t take a personal interest. Limit conversation to the business matter at hand,” says Bob (last name and employer name withheld), an investment banker who works in the Financial District.
While his employer hasn’t issued any official guidance, the 37-year-old Bloomfield, NJ, resident says that these are some of the rules that most of his male colleagues, including his superiors, have started to follow.
“I don’t like it. It’s unnatural. We’re not predators, and to be honest, it’s creating a bit of a boys’ club. I can’t see that it’s doing the females any good,” he says.
While there has been a call to revisit the way women and men work together, experts say that shutting out the opposite sex isn’t the solution.
In fact, it’s just the opposite of what needs to happen, according to Joanne Lipman, author of the new book, “That’s What She Said: What Men Need to Know (and Women Need to Tell Them) About Working Together” (William Morrow).
“Sexual harassment is an extreme case,” says Lipman, adding that the #MeToo movement has created an opportunity to talk about the balance of power in the workplace. “It’s a conversation that both genders need to be a part of.”
Lipman contends that the world would be a much better place, productivity would increase and we would all be better off if men and women respected each other as equals and were treated fairly.
Lipman offers all sorts of statistics to establish that this isn’t happening, ranging from pay discrepancies, even at first jobs (because men are more likely to negotiate) to studies showing that women are interrupted three times more often than men during meetings (and women, when they interrupt, tend to talk over each other, not men.)
That said, ArLyne Diamond suggests that male bosses lay low. “They shouldn’t offer to be mentors, tease, use swear words or tell jokes. All of these [things]can be misinterpreted,” says Diamond, a Ph.D who coaches executives.
However, the workplace is mostly full of “good guys,” adds Lipman, who argues that in many cases, unconscious bias is to blame for inequalities and that once workers are made aware of it, they can deal with it.
It’s a sentiment echoed by Jonathan Sposato in his book, “Better Together: 8 Ways Working with Women Leads to Extraordinary Products and Profits” (John Wiley & Sons).
While Lipman and Sposato agree that it’s best if change starts at the top of the organization (in fact, Sposato, an investor, won’t fund a startup unless there’s at least one female principal), there are things that every worker can do today to fuel the change.