Mixing cologne and a country star smells like a good time
Every five years or so, Wynonna gets a whiff of me, whether she likes it or not. And the jury is still out on her latest whiff.
You see, Wynonna Judd — country music star — has become the de facto go-to female judge of The Blonde Accountant’s taste in men’s cologne. The only problem with this is that Wynonna has absolutely no idea she is part of the equation.
It all started when I first interviewed Wynonna for a holiday show she was performing at the Keswick Theatre in Glenside in December 2007.
We had a nice conversation, and Wynonna was a great interview. She’s as honest as anyone I’ve interviewed and she doesn’t dodge any question. At the end of our conversation, she invited The Blonde Accountant and me backstage to meet her before the show.
That evening, TBA and I were in the master bathroom getting all gussied up to go see Wynonna. We had been married only a few months at that point, and she had chosen a cologne — Curve — that she liked me to wear. Now, I’m not a big cologne guy, but it is apparently an integral part of the gussyingup experience for a Wynonna concert.
As I reached for the bottle of cologne, The Blonde Accountant’s eyes glared at me in the bathroom mirror. My immediate reaction, as a newly married fellow, was . . . “I’m putting this cologne on for you and not Wynonna!” I didn’t want her — or Wynonna — to get the wrong idea.
Well, that wasn’t what she was thinking at all. She was wondering if I was going to attend to some unruly nose hair prior to the big meeting with Wynonna. Nose hair maintenance, as I’ve learned over the years, is another integral part of the gussying-up experience. I wouldn’t want Wynonna to take one look at me and say, “Hey there cowboy, you plan on lassoing up some of that nose hair nonsense anytime soon?”
The whole cologne-forWynonna story turned into a column in 2007, and over the past five years, it’s become a running “cologne gag” in our house. I am such an infrequent cologne user — in fact, I’m still working off the original bottle of Curve my wife bought me five years ago — that every time I do reach for a spritz, The Blonde Accountant will say, “What? You seeing Wynonna tonight?” And then we both yuck it up.
The whole cologne story eventually ended up being the hook for a chapter on Wynonna in my new book (Shameless Promotion Alert!) “Dancing in My Underwear: The Soundtrack of My Life.”
So when Wynonna and her band, The Big Noise, appeared once again at the Keswick Theatre last week, I had another opportunity to interview her to preview the show. At the end of the interview, I shared with her the cologne story and the fact that she was part of my book. I was humbled when she asked if I would give her a copy after the show that evening.
As gratifying as that was, what I really wanted to know was if Wynonna actually liked my cologne. Naturally, I splashed on a whole boatload of smell-good before the show that evening, waiting for the now inevitable “are you seeing Wynonna tonight” comment from The Blonde Accountant. For the first time in five years, I could actually answer, “Well, now that you mention it …”
But family circumstances dictated that I was going solo to the concert that evening, a fact that did not please The Blonde Accountant.
“Wynonna is pretty goodlooking, and I’m not sure I want you to get close enough for her to smell your cologne,” said TBA.
Hey, my reason for wanting to get close to Wynonna was purely for the creative column-writing possibilities that the cologne story might provide. I wasn’t putting on the cologne for Wynonna because she’s an attractive redhead with a big-time voice. Really.
I wish I could report that the end of the story was as fun as the lead up to it. Wynonna put on a great show and I did get to meet her afterwards and give her a copy of my book. In fact, she gave me a hug, which means she was indeed close enough to me to get a good whiff of my cologne.
But she didn’t say one way or the other whether she liked the scent. We didn’t have much time together at the meet-and-greet, and really, just how does one approach a big star and say something like, “Hey Wynonna, would you smell my neck?” I believe the first word out her mouth would have been “Security!”
Guess I’ll have to wait another five years to get close enough to Wynonna for her to validate The Blonde Accountant’s preference in men’s cologne.
I’m guessing I’ll still be working off the original bottle of Curve.
Mike Morsch is executive editor of Montgomery Media and author of the book, “Dancing in My Underwear: The Soundtrack of My Life.” He can be reached by calling 215-542-0200, ext. 415 or by email at msquared35@ yahoo.com. This column can also be found at www.montgomerynews.com.
Mike and Wynonna at the Keswick Theatre
Outta Leftfield Mike Morsch