)LVKLQJ USDDWH: DOQ’W JHW Koonhd oq UVLQJ youu DUP IOU EDLW

North Penn Life - - ACCENT -

Go DKHDd DQd cUoVV “cDW­fiVK Qoodling” off the list of ac­tiv­i­ties I’d like to try some day, mostly becDuVH LW LQvoOvHV fiVKLQJ IoU cDW­fiVK the size of a Volvo us­ing only one’s bare arm as bait.

Let me re­peat that: “Noodling” is JoLQJ fiVKLQJ EDUHKDQdHd DQd OHWWLQJ WKH cDW­fiVK ELWH you on the arm. What hapSHQHd Wo fiVKLQJ? :KHQ did it be­come ac­cept­able to en­gage in this leisure DcWLvLWy wLWKouW D fiVKLQJ SoOH DQd woUPV?

See, I’m not much of D fiVKHUPDQ. ,Q IDcW, , haven’t tossed a line in the wa­ter in an at­tempt to hook some­thing since I was a kid. It’s quite sim­ple re­ally: I don’t like touch­ing the worm and I don’t like touch­ing the fiVK. TKDW SUHWWy PucK HOLPLQDWHV me from the sport. I be­lieve that WKH OI­ficLDO RuOHV oI )LVKLQJ do al­low beer to be con­sumed while par­tic­i­pat­ing, which would in­deed qual­ify me if it weren’t for the worms. I re­ally can’t get past the cooler hold­ing the worms to get to the cooler hold­ing the beer.

But there is this thing go­ing on down in Ok­la­homa — and it would be here that you would in­sert your own joke about Ok­la­homa, al­though I would never do such a WKLQJ Wo WKH fiQH IoONV wKo OLvH WKHUH — cDOOHd “cDW­fiVK QoodOLQJ.” TKHy HvHQ KDvH WouUQDPHQWV IoU WKLV DcWLvLWy, SDUdQHU. TKHUH’V DOVo D re­al­ity show about it (and I’m not sure why I know that) called “Hill­billy HDQd­fiVKLQ’ — wKLcK , sup­pose is named ap­pro­pri­ately enough.

Ac­cord­ing to a story LQ TKH ONODKoPDQ, WKH largest daily news­pa­per in the state, noodling “en­tails wad­ing through rivers and lakes and wrestling mon­strous cat­fiVK IUoP WKHLU cDvHUQouV dens — bare­handed.”

Sheesh. I like noo­dles. I thought this was go­ing to be about noo­dles. Nope. Not even close.

Well, maybe it has some­thing to do with canoodling. I en­joy the coPSDQy oI TKH BOoQdH Ac­couQ­tant and we like to canoo­dle ev­ery chance we get. Wrong again. “Noodling is some­what danger­ous in that the noodlers of­ten have to hold their breath while reach­ing into caves, in the hope that a masVLvH cDW­fiVK wLOO cKoPS oQWo WKHLU arm. Noodlers then have to wres­tle WKH VWUuJJOLQJ fiVK IUoP WKH cDvH Wo the sur­face,” ac­cord­ing to the story.

Uh … wait just a cot­ton-pickin’ dadgummed minute (I’ve got a hill­billy or two in the fam­ily tree). So ONODKoPD fiVKHUPHQ KoOd WKHLU breath and plop their heads un­der­wDWHU, VWLcN WKHLU DUPV LQWo cDW­fiVK cDvHV, wDLW IoU D ELJ cDW­fiVK Wo clamp down on their arms and then UDVVOH WKH cULWWHU Wo WKH VuUIDcH?

Hon­est to Pete, are there no woUPV OLvLQJ LQ ONODKoPD? AQd how can Vince McMa­hon not be LQvoOvHd LQ VoPHWKLQJ OLNH WKLV?

OK, for a mo­ment, let’s for­get about a cou­ple of other things I dLdQ’W UHDOLzH DEouW fiVKLQJ: (1) CDW­fiVK OLvH LQ cDvHV? (2) CDW­fiVK doQ’W KDvH WHHWK? (3) CKoPSLQJ LV DOOowHd DQd HQ­couUDJHd KHUH? And try this on: Ok­la­homa’s neigh­bor — the great state of THxDV — oQOy UHcHQWOy OHJDOLzHd QoodOLQJ, Dc­coUdLQJ Wo TKH ONODhoman story.

Wait, noodling used to be il­le­gal LQ THxDV? :Ky? TKH CDW­fiVK LLv­ing in Un­der­wa­ter Caves Union oEMHcWHd?

Here’s an­other bit of in­for­maWLoQ JOHDQHd IUoP TKH ONODKoPDQ VWoUy: TKH wLQQHU oI WKH UHcHQWOy con­cluded “pres­ti­gious” — that’s TKH ONODKoPDQ’V woUd — ONLH NoodOLQJ TouUQDPHQW wDV D 19-yHDU-oOd woPDQ QDPHd Lucy Millsap. And she is a cal­en­dar girl for a group called “Bare Knuckle Babes.”

Ms. Millsap won the tour­na­ment Ey UDVVOLQJ D 72-SouQd flDWKHDd cDW­fiVK uS oQWo WKH EDQNV oI LDNH THx­oPD, WKH ODUJHVW-UDVVOHd cDW­fiVK LQ WKH WouUQDPHQW’V 14-yHDU KLV­tory.

TKDW’V ULJKW, WKLV QoodOLQJ WouUQDPHQW KDV EHHQ JoLQJ oQ IoU 14 years. And if that’s not amaz­ing enough news, the Bare Knuckle Babes have a cal­en­dar with pic­tures of them in their biki­nis holdLQJ UHDOOy ELJ cDW­fiVK WKDW WKHy VHOO in an at­tempt to, ac­cord­ing to the JUouS’V )DcHEooN SDJH DV UHSoUWHd LQ TKH ONODKoPDQ, “EULQJ woUOd­wLdH QoWLcH Wo WKH VSoUW oI cDW­fiVK noodling and the women be­hind the sport.”

If you buy this cal­en­dar and your fiUVW UHDcWLoQ LV, “GoOO duUQ, wouOd you look at the size of that cat­fiVK!” wLWKouW QoWLcLQJ WKH JLUO LQ the bikini, then with all due re­spect Wo coPHdLDQ -HII )ox­woUWKy, you might just be a red­neck.

By the way, the man­ager of the Bare Knuckle Babes, Jennifer Drake — wife of cham­pion noodler Ed­die Drake — is quoted in the story as ad­mit­ting that Ms. Millsap was an “ouWODw QoodOHU” EHIoUH THxDV OHJDOLzHd WKH DcWLvLWy LQ 2011.

RLJKW WKHUH , OHDUQHd Wwo PoUH WKLQJV , dLdQ’W NQow: (1) NoodOLQJ KDV LWV owQ cKDPSLoQ. (2) Noodling used to have its own out­laws.

TKH dLV­cov­HUy oI WKLV wKoOH noodling thing just leaves me in­cred­u­lously shak­ing my head. I’m guess­ing even the worms liv­ing in ONODKoPD DQd THxDV IHHO WKH VDPH way.

SHH, LI woUPV wHLJKHd 72 pounds and lived in un­der­wa­ter caves, they too could have their own rassling tour­na­ments.

HHOOo …VLQcH?

Mike Morsch is ex­ec­u­tive edi­tor of Mont­gomery Me­dia and author of the book, “Danc­ing in My Un­der­wear: The Sound­track of My Life.” He can be reached by call­ing 215-542-0200, ext. 415 or by email at msquared35@ya­hoo.com. This col­umn can also be found at www.mont­gomerynews.com.

Outta Leftfield Mike Morsch

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