Plague upon our land

Northwest Arkansas Democrat-Gazette - - VOICES -

John Brum­mett’s col­umn about a UALR foot­ball team re­minded me of a fan­tasy novel idea.

It be­gins with a Ra­zor­backs foot­ball game where nearly all spec­ta­tors are fam­ily, friends, groupies, coaches and ad­min­is­tra­tors of the teams and march­ing bands. The others are folks who come to work on their tan or just to get out of the house on a Satur­day af­ter­noon. We learn that the phe­nom­e­non oc­curs in col­lege sta­di­ums na­tion­wide.

Mo­tor­cy­cle hel­mets fly off the shelves. Ci­garette, al­co­hol and sug­ary soda sales plum­met. Gun stores are shut­tered and high-heeled shoe fac­to­ries shut down.

Alas, a plague of san­ity is vis­ited upon the USA.

Lo­cal govern­ments tackle lo­cal is­sues as if they were, well, lo­cal is­sues. Ci­ti­zens clamor to pay taxes to solve the prob­lems that re­sult in high crime rates in clearly de­fined neigh­bor­hoods. Round­ing up bad ac­tors is mid­way down the to-do list.

We pro­vide ap­pro­pri­ate hous­ing and health ser­vices for home­less ci­ti­zens. We pro­vide early child­hood ed­u­ca­tion and day care for work­ing moth­ers.

En­ergy com­pa­nies re­place fos­sil fu­els with re­new­able en­ergy. We shift new high­way con­struc­tion money to mass tran­sit.

No­body cares who loves whom or how.

Congress nearly unan­i­mously af­firms that the Af­ford­able Care Act is one of its most im­por­tant ac­com­plish­ments, along with So­cial Se­cu­rity, Medi­care and Med­i­caid. Mem­bers work on mak­ing them all bet­ter, like a lov­ing ex­tended fam­ily nearly free of dys­func­tion. No dys­func­tion would be too weird.

Feel free to use this for your own novel. I’ll buy it.



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