SPIN CY­CLE Here’s the cheat sheet to that new beach film

Northwest Arkansas Democrat-Gazette - - STYLE - JEN­NIFER CHRISTMAN

Wel­come to Dunkirk for Dum­mies, a primer be­fore you — the one who crammed be­fore her his­tory tests and in­stantly for­got ev­ery­thing — get dragged by your his­tory buff friends to see this war movie.

Q: War movie? I thought this was about One Di­rec­tion?

A: 1D singer Harry Styles is in the war film, but it’s more about a band of brothers than a boy band. Q: But Harry at least sings in it, right? A: No. The score was com­posed by veteran Hol­ly­wood com­poser Hans Zim­mer. The sound­track con­tains su­per in­tense songs with ti­tles like “We Need Our Army Back,” “Shiv­er­ing Sol­dier” and “Su­per­ma­rine.” Is there any­thing like 1D’s “Na, Na, Na?” That would be a no, no, no.

Q: Well, how do Harry’s long, lovely locks look?

A: Short. Messy. And, con­sid­er­ing all the drown­ing scenes, wet. Very wet. But Styles, who has since grown his hair back, didn’t mind his movie ’do. A Bill­board mag­a­zine story quoted him as say­ing, “I didn’t think too much about it. I as­sumed when au­di­tion­ing for a [movie] based in World War II, I’d prob­a­bly have to have a trim.” As for how it felt, he says, “It was a lit­tle breezy be­hind the ears, which was nice.” Even if it isn’t as nice to see on screen be­cause, to bor­row and al­ter

a song ti­tle, his hair is “What Makes (Him) Beau­ti­ful.”

Q: What is Dunkirk any­way?

A: I’ll read to you the film synopsis: “In May 1940, Ger­many ad­vanced into France, trap­ping Al­lied troops on the beaches of Dunkirk.” You see, the Ger­mans are the bad guys; the French and the Bri­tish — like Harry — are good guys.

Q: Back up. So about the beach scenes, does Harry wear a bathing suit?

A: No. He wears a mil­i­tary uni­form.

Q: So fa­tigues? Speak­ing of fa­tigues, ex­actly how long is this movie?

A: Two hours.

Q: That’s long.

Well, the evac­u­a­tion lasted 10 days. Be­sides, there are two win­dows of time dur­ing the movie that you can step out, ac­cord­ing to the RunPee app (which of­fers the best times to leave a movie and visit the lobby): “Dunkirk can best be de­scribed as one long bat­tle scene. There are only brief mo­ments of di­a­logue that can ac­tu­ally be un­der­stood above the sounds of bat­tle. The two [times] I chose are each four min­utes of fran­tic scenes of fight­ing with lit­tle or no di­a­logue.”

Q: Who’s the di­rec­tor? A: Christo­pher Nolan.

Q: Wait, then Bat­man is

in it? And he saves ev­ery­one? Is Chris­tian Bale in a bathing suit?

A: No. No. And no. But since you’re fa­mil­iar with that fran­chise, Cil­lian Mur­phy, who played Dr. Johnathan Crane/The Scare­crow in Bat­man Be­gins, The Dark Knight and The Dark Knight Rises, is in it. And be­fore you ask, he’s wear­ing a mil­i­tary uni­form too.

Q: So the troops are on a beach. And then what hap­pens?

Let’s go back to the film synopsis: “Un­der air and ground cover from Bri­tish and French forces, troops were slowly and me­thod­i­cally

evac­u­ated from the beach us­ing every ser­vice­able naval and civil­ian ves­sel that could be found. At the end of this heroic mis­sion, 330,000 French, Bri­tish, Bel­gian and Dutch sol­diers were safely evac­u­ated.”

Q: Now you to­tally ru­ined the movie for me!

A: One can­not spoil ba­sic his­tory.

Q: You’re right. I think I need to ed­u­cate my­self on the sub­ject of his­toric coastal res­cues.

A: Good for you, brush­ing

up on your facts be­fore see­ing Dunkirk!

Q: Oh, I’m done with Dunkirk. I need to find out when Bay­watch — re­leased in May and star­ring a shirt­less Zac Efron and The Rock — will be re­leased on DVD.

Spin Cy­cle is a smirk at pop cul­ture.You can hear Jen­nifer on Lit­tle Rock’s KURB-FM, B98.5 (B98. com), from 5:30 to 9 a.m. Mon­day through Fri­day.

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