SPIN CYCLE Here’s the cheat sheet to that new beach film
Welcome to Dunkirk for Dummies, a primer before you — the one who crammed before her history tests and instantly forgot everything — get dragged by your history buff friends to see this war movie.
Q: War movie? I thought this was about One Direction?
A: 1D singer Harry Styles is in the war film, but it’s more about a band of brothers than a boy band. Q: But Harry at least sings in it, right? A: No. The score was composed by veteran Hollywood composer Hans Zimmer. The soundtrack contains super intense songs with titles like “We Need Our Army Back,” “Shivering Soldier” and “Supermarine.” Is there anything like 1D’s “Na, Na, Na?” That would be a no, no, no.
Q: Well, how do Harry’s long, lovely locks look?
A: Short. Messy. And, considering all the drowning scenes, wet. Very wet. But Styles, who has since grown his hair back, didn’t mind his movie ’do. A Billboard magazine story quoted him as saying, “I didn’t think too much about it. I assumed when auditioning for a [movie] based in World War II, I’d probably have to have a trim.” As for how it felt, he says, “It was a little breezy behind the ears, which was nice.” Even if it isn’t as nice to see on screen because, to borrow and alter
a song title, his hair is “What Makes (Him) Beautiful.”
Q: What is Dunkirk anyway?
A: I’ll read to you the film synopsis: “In May 1940, Germany advanced into France, trapping Allied troops on the beaches of Dunkirk.” You see, the Germans are the bad guys; the French and the British — like Harry — are good guys.
Q: Back up. So about the beach scenes, does Harry wear a bathing suit?
A: No. He wears a military uniform.
Q: So fatigues? Speaking of fatigues, exactly how long is this movie?
A: Two hours.
Q: That’s long.
Well, the evacuation lasted 10 days. Besides, there are two windows of time during the movie that you can step out, according to the RunPee app (which offers the best times to leave a movie and visit the lobby): “Dunkirk can best be described as one long battle scene. There are only brief moments of dialogue that can actually be understood above the sounds of battle. The two [times] I chose are each four minutes of frantic scenes of fighting with little or no dialogue.”
Q: Who’s the director? A: Christopher Nolan.
Q: Wait, then Batman is
in it? And he saves everyone? Is Christian Bale in a bathing suit?
A: No. No. And no. But since you’re familiar with that franchise, Cillian Murphy, who played Dr. Johnathan Crane/The Scarecrow in Batman Begins, The Dark Knight and The Dark Knight Rises, is in it. And before you ask, he’s wearing a military uniform too.
Q: So the troops are on a beach. And then what happens?
Let’s go back to the film synopsis: “Under air and ground cover from British and French forces, troops were slowly and methodically
evacuated from the beach using every serviceable naval and civilian vessel that could be found. At the end of this heroic mission, 330,000 French, British, Belgian and Dutch soldiers were safely evacuated.”
Q: Now you totally ruined the movie for me!
A: One cannot spoil basic history.
Q: You’re right. I think I need to educate myself on the subject of historic coastal rescues.
A: Good for you, brushing
up on your facts before seeing Dunkirk!
Q: Oh, I’m done with Dunkirk. I need to find out when Baywatch — released in May and starring a shirtless Zac Efron and The Rock — will be released on DVD.
Spin Cycle is a smirk at pop culture.You can hear Jennifer on Little Rock’s KURB-FM, B98.5 (B98. com), from 5:30 to 9 a.m. Monday through Friday.