Haters by state? We can’t re­late

Northwest Arkansas Democrat-Gazette - - STYLE - HELAINE WIL­LIAMS

Peo­ple in Mis­souri — the Show Me state, the state of my birth — hate peo­ple who be­lieve in aliens.

Tex­ans hate sleep­ing with the win­dow open.

New Jersey folks have an aver­sion to jel­ly­fish.

This info comes from Hater, the name of a re­cently de­buted dat­ing ap­pli­ca­tion. In­stead of go­ing with the grain when it comes to dat­ing aids, Hater matches peo­ple who have the same hates in com­mon, rather than peo­ple who share loves and likes. “Upon sign­ing up for Hater, users are asked to swipe (up for love, right for like, left for dis­like and down for hate) on a se­lec­tion of 3,000 is­sues that com­prise politi­cians, celebri­ties, com­pa­nies, etc., to de­tail their pro­file,” ac­cord­ing to a story at Mata­dor Net­work (Mata­dor­net­work.com), a travel me­dia brand. The top hates in each state were then shown in a col­or­ful (lit­eral and fig­u­ra­tive) map of the United States that has been mak­ing the rounds.

Jus­ti­fi­ca­tions can be made for some of the dis­likes. Mis­souri is nick­named the Show Me state, so it’s no sur­prise that Mis­souri­ans would be like, “hey, show me these aliens.” Texas has a rep­u­ta­tion for its bugs, snakes and bats, so no sur­prise there. I’d wa­ger that the Gar­den Staters are fed up with the jel­ly­fish stings they risk suf­fer­ing when they play in the wa­ter off the Jersey Shore. And Con­necti­cut peo­ple hat­ing win­ter? Well.

But I, at least, strug­gle to un­der­stand why Wis­con­sin res­i­dents hate trap mu­sic (a sub­genre of South­ern hip-hop) and those re­sid­ing in its across-the-great-lake neigh­bor, Michi­gan, have ex­pressed their ha­tred of the Jane Austen novel Pride and Prej­u­dice. And why, pray, do Ge­or­gians hate tuna salad?

Of course the more in­ter­est­ing ques­tion might be how Hater came up with the 3,000 dis­liked ob­jects, which in this vast coun­try of more than 300 mil­lion peo­ple, is a rel­a­tively small se­lec­tion of hates. But there was enough of a se­lec­tion to re­veal, to us spec­ta­tors, some in­ter­est­ing pat­terns:

■ Such as the states where drink­ing is a prom­i­nent pas­time: Peo­ple from hubby’s home state of Louisiana hate be­ing the des­ig­nated driver. Min­nesotans ab­hor drink­ing alone. North Carolini­ans hate Driv­ing Un­der the In­flu­ence check­points.

■ Such as where the truly straight­laced among us re­side: Utah res­i­dents hate pornog­ra­phy. Ok­la­homans hate hear­ing the lat­est

gos­sip. Mis­sis­sip­pi­ans hate, well, a cer­tain sex­ual act.

■ Such as the states whose res­i­dents aren’t big on ex­er­cise: In Ore­gon, they hate spin class; in Mon­tana, they can’t stand go­ing to the gym, pe­riod; and in Florida, they hate those cutesy work­out cou­ples.

■ Such as the states where mind­ful or health-re­lated eat­ing isn’t prized. Ten­nesseeans

bear a deep dis­like of for­aged food. Neigh­bor­ing state Alabama has no time for veg­e­tar­i­an­ism. And peo­ple in Wy­oming hate gluten-free food, or at least the term “gluten free.”

There are the hi­lar­i­ously ob­vi­ous hates: New York­ers hate Times Square. Wash­ing­ton Staters, be­ing in the land of Star­bucks, bear a ha­tred for Keurig K-Cups. Mas­sachusetts res­i­dents hate Eli Man­ning, due no doubt to those hurt­ful Su­per Bowl losses. The jaded res­i­dents of the na­tion’s cap­i­tal, Wash­ing­ton, hate the idea

that every­one has a soul mate — “which says a lot about the deep, soul-crush­ing na­ture of pol­i­tics,” opines the writer of a Com­plex.com story about the map.

And there are the head-scratch­ers and “Mmmh mmmh mmmh” com­ment-evok­ers. North Dakotans ap­par­ently like their meals hearty, as they have no time for tapas. New Hamp­shirites are in need of a good tent re­vival: They hate God. West Vir­ginia must be Uber coun­try, as res­i­dents hate Lyft.

The most mys­ti­fy­ing: Out of all the more col­or­ful, more cre­ative hates they could have cho­sen, Arkansans claimed to hate clean­ing.

That’s it. Just … clean­ing. Too bad “neg­a­tive dis­tinc­tions” ap­par­ently wasn’t among those 3,000 pos­si­ble hates, as Arkansas al­ways seems to rack up one bad dis­tinc­tion or an­other.

The lat­est of which, ap­par­ently, is “messi­ness.”

Newspapers in English

Newspapers from USA

© PressReader. All rights reserved.