The deal of a life­time

Northwest Arkansas Democrat-Gazette - - VOICES -

I was so dis­traught about the hea­then de­struc­tion of the most holy and self-right­eous Sen. Ja­son Rapert’s Ten Com­mand­ments that I took to my King James bean­bag chair for sev­eral evenings to con­tem­plate a so­lu­tion.

I thought and thought un­til my head hurt. Fi­nally an idea came to be: I asked my­self, “What Would Don­ald Do?” I im­me­di­ately grabbed my copy of the ex­alted one’s book, The Art of the Deal, and read, then re-read it.

Then af­ter a se­ri­ous con­ver­sa­tion with Sen­a­tor Rapert, I pro­posed my so­lu­tion. He agreed and, af­ter many phone calls, I fi­nally found the one per­son with the so-called “free­thinkers” with whom to talk. A mere day later I was told of the ac­cep­tance of my ex­cel­lent of­fer.

They, the (evil, li­brul) “free­thinkers” would build a 10-foot wall around the most self-right­eous Sen­a­tor Rapert’s Ten Com­mand­ments and they would pay for it.

My ela­tion knew no bounds, so I set my­self on a new, more dif­fi­cult task, feel­ing ever stronger in my ne­go­ti­at­ing skills (thanks to The Don­ald, our es­teemed leader). I man­aged to pull off the deal of a life­time. The most right­eous mem­bers of my party—the GOP (God’s Own Party)—will al­low the evil Satanist folk to build their statue of Baphomet on the op­po­site side of the Capi­tol (near the dump­sters). How did I pull off this deal? Easy; Baphomet must have a face like unto Barack Obama.

What a win. I look for­ward to the ac­co­lades (and money) for these note­wor­thy ac­com­plish­ments. Maybe even a paid trip to meet The Don­ald. Pos­sum Poot to­day; Washington tomorrow! STEVE GIB­SON Lit­tle Rock

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