Mother’s boyfriend grooms daughter for relationship

Dear Amy: My girlfriend “Wendy” and I have been living together for seven years. She has a daughter, “Ariel,” 18, who recently graduated from high school. Ariel and I always got along great, but I liked her more than I liked her mother, and I feel terrible about it.

A few years into our relationship, Wendy started neglecting her health and hygiene, put on weight, wouldn’t exercise, and after a while, I was no longer attracted to her.

All the while, Ariel started to look great, and I couldn’t stop thinking about her.

I saved all my passions for Wendy, but honestly I was thinking about Ariel the whole time.

When Ariel was 15, I suggested sending her to boarding school. She loved the school, and I hate to say it, but another reason I wanted her to go there was because I wanted to have a relationship with her, and I hated myself for it.

I visited Ariel a few times at school. Wendy was very jealous and suspicious of Ariel for dressing provocatively.

I was visiting Ariel at her school right after she turned 18, and she came on to me. Now that she is 18, she’s been telling me that she wants to have sex with me before she goes off to college.

I confess, I am almost ready to take her up on it. I’d be breaking no laws. If I left Wendy, I wouldn’t suffer.

Would it ruin Ariel’s life or cause her trouble later on if we have this relationship now? We won’t be living together or dating, and she’s looking forward to heading out of state to go to college soon, and I expect she’ll be dating a lot when she gets there.

Dear Not Really: Yes, I suspect that it would ruin “Ariel’s” life and cause her trouble later on if you have this relationship now.

But, of course, you have already messed up her life. You have groomed her since childhood by “liking” her more than her mother. You have also destroyed her relationship with her mother by rejecting the mother in favor of the girl.

Even if you would not be breaking any laws, your behavior so far has been despicable. Furthermore, like many sexual predators, you blame the victim and accuse her of coming on to you.

You say that you hate yourself for feeling this way. I hope you will let your conscience guide you now.