Time for some hard-hitting questions
Put your Packers knowledge to test
Weekend 1 without football is behind us now.
Hardcore fans prepared for this time of year by watching the NFL combine shows that they saved on DVR. Talk about shows that have you at the edge of your seat.
Others took the opportunity to vent about the Green and Gold releasing Sam Shields and James Starks. And why shouldn’t they vent? Those two had nothing to do with what happened in Atlanta.
And some fans Shop-Vac’d their cheeseheads so they are ready for next season.
The more athletic fans practiced Lambeau Leaps onto their couches right after they told their kids not to jump on their beds.
The finality of a season that went awry is here, and there is no better way to take the knee than to take the Packers 2016 Final Exam.
As a public service, there won’t be any really, really hard questions like: Who is the Don Hutson Center named after?
So go sharpen your No. 2 pencil and sit next to someone with a good upside. If you can pass this, you’re ready for the Wonderlic.
1. What was the best part of the season?
A. Davante Adams was named as a Gruden Grinder.
B. Damarious Randall defended a pass or two.
C. The Lambeau Squirrel.
2. Aaron Rodgers finished worse than Kenny G in the AT&T Pebble Beach Pro-Am. What should he say to his critics?
A. “Kenny who?” B. “There’s no Hail Marys in golf.” C. “R-E-L-A-X!”
3. What was going through your mind while you watched Mason Crosby’s winning kick against the Cowboys?
A. “The problem is not with my set.”
B. “That looks like an Anthony Dilweg pass.”
C. “Chester Marcol could have ran it in from there.”
4. What does Clay Matthews say when he walks past a barber shop?
A. “Nice pole, Dudesickle.” B. “I’m not going in there until Ted Thompson signs a free agent.”
C. “You ain’t Vidal Sassoon, bro.”
5. What happened to all the people that wanted Mike McCarthy fired when the Packers were 4-6?
A. They went back to Illinois and hoped the Bears would hire him.
B. They were put in the NFL’s concussion protocol.
C. They still want him fired.
6. What happens to Eddie Lacy?
A. He replaces Ty Montgomery at receiver.
B. McCarthy brings him back so he can run him wide on third-and-short.
C. A promising career in competitive eating.
7. When will the Packers’ defense improve?
A. If they hire someone named Nitschke.
B. When that one place freezes over.
C. Not in our lifetime.
8. The draft is rapidly approaching. Who will the Packers pick?
A. Somebody that can’t rush the passer.
B. Somebody that can’t defend a pass.
C. The best athlete available.
9. What is Ted Thompson doing these days?
A. Impressing people at cocktail parties with his knowledge of Mel Kiper Jr.’s Big Board.
B. Appearing at comedy clubs. Two shows nightly.
C. Playing Pin The Tail on the free agents he’s not going to sign.
10. What do Packers fans have to look forward to next season?
A. Spewing venom about Dom Capers.
B. Spewing venom about McCarthy’s play calling.
C. Snake soup at tailgate parties.
D. Super Bowl LII.
Rodgers spent the weekend with the rich and famous at Pebble Beach in the golf clambake that used to bear Bing Crosby’s name.
The conditions made the Frozen Tundra look like Maui.
On the practice day, wind gusts hit 40 mph. So it was kind of like being in a broadcast booth with Jon Gruden. Or a Bears fan.
And the rain was blowing sideways.
Nobody was wearing plaid shorts.
In fact, Rodgers surfaced with black rain gear, with black gloves on both hands and a black wool cap over his black cap.
So, would he have played if it was a foursome at the Oneida Golf & Country Club? “Only at Pebble,” he said. Rodgers’ partner for the event was Madison’s own Jerry Kelly, a former hockey player. Kelly was forced to take a timeout before one tee shot after the wind blew over a metal fence.
“Any other tournament, nobody would be out here,” Kelly said.
Rodgers has played in far worse conditions and Kelly didn’t seem to mind.
“This,” he said, “might be as good as it gets.” Nah. It got worse. They missed the cut.
Norman Chad, syndicated columnist: “If Jay Cutler had done what Adele did, they would’ve booed him off the stage.”... Steve Rosenbloom of the
Chicago Tribune: “Jay Cutler will leave the Bears with all the important and gaudy passing records. He also will leave the
Bears shatteredas the hope.”...hood ornament for Scott Ostler of the San Francisco Examiner: “The British have their Changing of the Guard at Buckingham Palace. The 49ers have their Changing of the Culture at Levi’s Stadium. One is a stiff ceremony with fancy costumes, the other is a bunch of guys in tall fuzzy hats.”... Bill Plaschke of the Los Angeles Times: “Watching a sweatshirted Bill Belichick cursing at officials like a stunned bully never gets old.”... Mike Bianchi of the Orlando Sentinel: (Former Tampa Bay Buccaneers owner) Hugh Culverhouse! Quote from his wife, who found about philandering after he died: ‘I’d like to dig him up just so I could shoot him.’” Jimmy Kimmel, ABC funny
man: “The New England Patriots made what turned out to be the biggest comeback in Super Bowl history to beat the Atlanta Falcons in overtime. Who doesn’t like to see the overdogs win? Just like the election — a rich white guy married to a model from another country, who seemingly had no chance of winning, actually did win.”... Conan O’Brien, TBS funnyman: “According to a report, Mark Wahlberg left the Super Bowl during the third quarter because the Patriots were losing. He didn’t leave alone; the Falcons’ defense went with him.”... Patriots coach Bill Belichick on the downside of winning his record fifth Super Bowl: “We’re five weeks behind the other teams for the 2017 season.”... Comedy writer Alex Kaseberg, on why no Falcons have an airtight alibi in the disappearance of Tom Brady’s Super Bowl jersey: “They didn’t have Brady’s number all day.”... Janice Hough of LeftCoast
SportsBabe.com on Brady’s missing Super Bowl jersey: “Anyone asked Putin?”
The squirrel with breakaway speed was one of the few exciting events for the home fans during the Packers’ loss to the Colts at Lambeau Field.