MIKE HART

Packer Plus - - News - MIKE HART From Packer Plus wire re­ports and other news sources. Send email to mhart@jour­nalsen­tinel.com

In search of a new bell cow

It’s time to throw your busted NCAA bracket away and start do­ing mock NFL drafts.

Don’t even take the time to do mock tee times for The Masters on CBS.

That’s be­cause this par­tic­u­lar draft is crit­i­cal for the Green and Gold, who have just two run­ning backs on their ac­tive ros­ter. And one used to be gain­fully em­ployed as a re­ceiver.

So they are in dire need of some­one who has ded­i­cated his life to tot­ing the hog­blad­der.

“We need some more guys,” Pack­ers gen­eral man­ager Ted Thomp­son said. “We’re a lit­tle short in a cou­ple of ar­eas. So from a per­son­nel stand­point, we’ve got to get some more bod­ies, but we like the guys that we have. It’s just that we’d like to get some more.”

In other words, the Pack­ers could use a bell cow.

It was en­vi­sioned by many that Ed­die Lacy would fill that role for quite some time. He sort of lived up to the bell cow thing. We all know he an­swered the din­ner bell. And he re­cently weighed in at 267 so he had the cow part down. It was only fit­ting that he got a fat con­tract af­ter he wad­dled off to Seat­tle.

Now no Title­town District can be com­plete with­out a Bell Cow Palace. This would be a place where fans could gather and re­gale all with amus­ing anec­dotes about their fa­vorite Packer bell cows.

And here are some leg­endary Packer bell cows that could be in­ducted in the first class:

Beat­tie Feath­ers: While it is true that this leg­end only played in one game with the Pack­ers and had four car­ries for 19 yards, he was no Knile Davis. He was the first guy in NFL his­tory to rush for over 1,000 yards. Now can a fel­low who was known as the Bound- ing An­te­lope be a bell cow? Why not? On the old Mickey Mouse show, Wed­nes­day was Any­thing Can Hap­pen Day. So he can be a bell cow on Wed­nes­days.

Ben Wil­son: He will be long remembered for be­ing on his hands and knees look­ing for his con­tact lens dur­ing the second Su­per Bowl. He looked like he was sort of graz­ing. That screams bell cow.

Barty Smith: Most peo­ple have for­got­ten that the burly full­back once had a 33-yard run. Re­ally. Maybe it should be part of an ex­hibit at the Ri­p­ley’s Be­lieve It Or Not Mu­seum.

Ryan Grant: He ran into the line with his head down like a tur­tle. Upon fur­ther re­view, a lot of cows do things with their heads down. There­fore he has grad­u­ated from tur­tle sta­tus to a bell cow.

Eric Torkel­son: Some­times he was in the same back­field with Smith. A two bell-cow back­field. Imag­ine that. Peo­ple didn’t ap­pre­ci­ate the coach­ing ge­nius of Dan Devine.

Paul Ott Car­ruth : He’s ahead of Don Hut­son on Green Bay’s all-time rush­ing list. Maybe they should have named the prac­tice fa­cil­ity af­ter him.

Breezy Reid: Some­where there is a bell cow named Breezy.

Brett Lorenzo Favre: Green Bay’s 24th all-time lead­ing rusher fum­bled 147 times. That’s like a bell cow los­ing the bell upon leav­ing the sta­ble. There’s a fine line be­tween be­ing a bell cow and just a guy.

Wuert En­gel­mann: Let’s face it, ev­ery ath­letic shrine should in­clude a guy named Wuert.

M.D. Jen­nings: The record shows he had one carry for six yards. At the end of the run, Golden Tate took the ball away from him.

Clive Rush: He had one carry for mi­nus six yards. He wasn’t in a rush. Just like a real bell cow. As a side note, he had the per­fect name for a ra­dio morn­ing zookeeper.

Jim Grabowski: His can­di­dacy will be af­fected by the fact that Mike Ditka called the Bears Grabowskis while he was coach­ing them. The team trans­la­tor had to file for over­time.

Chuck Mer­cein: He played col­le­giaetly at Yale. Is it wrong to call an Ivy Lea­guer a bell cow? Ah­man Green: He sure was a bell cow. And he had some mooooooooves.

NO FOOLIN’

April be­gan on a down note. That wild, crazy, zany, mad­cap Thomp­son should have an­nounced on April Fools’ Day that he’s sign­ing Jay Cut­ler.

Cut­ler got some great pub­lic­ity right be­fore the big hol­i­day, too. Kristin Caval­leri, Cut­ler’s wife, posted a photo of his butt on her In­sta­gram ac­count. In other words, his ca­reer has bot­tomed out.

VINELINES

Tor­ben Rolf­sen, co­me­dian: “I’m not say­ing Seat­tle wants Ed­die Lacy to lose weight, but his sign­ing bonus from the Sea­hawks was a smart mi­crowave with a cam­era.”... Steve Rosen­bloom of the

Chicago Tri­bune: “My look at the Bears’ pro­jected quar­ter­back depth chart: Mike Glen­non, Who­ever They Draft, Mark Sanchez, Your Name Here, David Fales, Some Guy Eat­ing Chee­tos On His Couch, Con­nor Shaw, That Guy Over There, Yeah, You.”...

Scott Ostler of the San Fran­cisco Chron­i­cle, on the FBI re­sources used to track down Tom Brady’s stolen Su­per Bowl jer­sey: “Brady’s jer­sey is an im­por­tant Amer­i­can ar­ti­fact, but it ain’t ex­actly the Shroud of Turin.”...

Com­edy writer Alex Kase­berg, on the Raiders’ move to Las Ve­gas: “Young, fit, rich, testos­terone-crazed ego­ma­ni­acs in a town with 24-hour gam­bling, drink­ing, hook­ers and strip­pers. What could pos­si­bly go wrong?”...

Jim Barach, com­edy writer: “The Raiders made the move to Las Ve­gas see­ing how well those res­i­den­cies worked to re­vive the ca­reers of Ce­line Dion, Brit­ney Spears and the Back­street Boys.”

AS­SO­CI­ATED PRESS

Peo­ple saw an­other side of ex-Bears quar­ter­back Jay Cut­ler when wife Kristin Caval­lari posted a photo of his back­side on her In­sta­gram ac­count.

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